So the other day at work I was really struggling. I was doing my best to be positive, but I found myself not seeing the real point in what I was doing. When speaking with my manager, his response to my lack of motivation was that with improvement you can bonus. It truly took a good portion of my strength not to holler out I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE BONUS. My internal question was then, “how do I care about the bonus if I don’t care about the process to get there”? How can the potential of having more money in my pocket encourage me to reach certain goals when I cant figure out how to enjoy the process in the first place?
There’s nothing that displeases me more than having to pretend that I care or agree with something that I don’t in order to fulfill a stat!
I danced around this question for quite some time. I know that the reward is financial gain, however, I know that in order to accomplish that there are a series of steps that I must successfully get through in order to reach that goal. Here’s my problem, I find zero value in the work I do, therefor, the goals that I must reach seem to be that much harder to attain, once more I never cared to have more than the next man, but rather, I just want to make sure all my financial responsibilities are met with a little extra I can utilize. This factor is only allowing me to reach the BARE minimum. So I went to google for answers.
I came across an article titled “What To Do When You’re Not Motivated By Money” by Natalie Kent. She explained how money in, itself, was not a driver for her to excel in her work. Rather, it was more about the fulfillment she got from the connections and interactions she was able to set up and complete, which in turn helped in her making the money others had advised she could get. In her article she stated that you have to identify what it is you DO value in order to redirect your efforts. Once she identified this, she was able to focus more clearly in her work and the financial rewards just came in because she took joy and fulfillment in what she was doing.
This helped me to realize that I, in fact, do not like focusing on the money aspect of work and how much I could potentially earn, because in a way this adds unnecessary pressure and stress that I don’t need. What I do value is making human connections and being able to help and brighten up a person’s day. So in my current job there is a way that I can do that. I do have opportunities to make human connections and make a person’s day better. Yet and still, I find my job less than enjoyable. I don’t see how I can truly make a difference for somebody with what I am doing now.
My job feels very impersonal to me and I always have this feeling that although I may be addressing someone’s primary needs I’m also only doing that so that I can meet a metric. Sometimes this feels forced and unnatural, something I really am not a fan of. I consider myself to be an honest person and I find that I have to persuade a customer of a policy or a principle that means nothing to me. So I end up feeling like I’ve lied or have bent the truth to appease the customer and make sure I can assume the save. BOOOOOOOO!!! There’s nothing that displeases me more than having to pretend that I care or agree with something that I don’t in order to fulfill a stat!
This feeling of dishonesty overshadows the success of keeping a customer satisfied. Facing this fact revealed to me that I cannot remain in this field of work. I need to do something that I find satisfaction with without having to display a false truth in order to be successful. And let me clarify this “false truth”, it isn’t that I’m presenting untrue information or lying in order to keep a customer, but it is that I don’t believe in the words that I am saying. I don’t share the same values as the company that I represent. How can I really take joy in what I do when I don’t share the same ideology. For some people this isn’t an issue because they are looking at the money they can make.
Can you see my struggle? Now I have to consider going back in to the world of applications and interviews. Another source of aggravation. Now I have to convince someone why I’m the best fit when I don’t know if they are.
If I didn’t have to pay bills and feed myself I would completely invest in blogging or podcasting. I’d find ways to build my brand and grow so that, eventually, I could earn a living off of it. In the meantime, I’m forced to do all of that while working for the “man”.
Long story short folks, find what it is that does drive you, if it isn’t money refocus your attention so that the energy you are putting in, will reward you either way.