I think I’m finally starting to see the light! I’ve been in Florida for 4 months and despite hitting some brick walls, I think things are beginning to change for the better.
As you may have seen in my last post, Let’s Talk – I Went Big, But Should I Go Home?, I recently moved to Florida, but I was wondering if I had made the right move and if I was going to make it here. Despite some of my doubts it was my goal to thrive in my new city. Finally, after a couple months of living the struggle, I can say that I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still in the tunnel, however, unlike the last month or so, I am now working at 2 jobs and I have a good feeling that both will suit me well.
Don’t force together Pieces that don’t fit – Picturequotes.com
It’s funny how when you’re working and taking care of your business, nothing seems impossible, but as soon as your job falls through and money isn’t coming in regularly your life starts to crumble right before your eyes. That’s how the last 2 months have been for me. The initial job I had when I first arrived was good for the moment, but seeing as that it was a sales job at 100% commission, I was becoming unsatisfied with my income and the work I was putting in for a lack of results. I ultimately quit the job and decided to look for full time work. This is when things took a turn.
Everyone knows the rule about if you are going to look for new work it is always best to do so while still at your current job. Not only is this good for the employers looking into you, but it also helps to continue bringing in some type of income in the mean time. I know this rule. I’ve lived by this rule, but this time I figured I’m barely making any money as it is and although I like talking to people and making connections, having a job completely commission based was NOT my cup of tea. Instead of working myself to death and having no time to consider other jobs, I decided to quit so that I could put my energy into the job hunt.
Here’s the good and the bad.
- I was getting calls to come in for interviews or at least question my interest in the job.
- I received a couple offers to start relatively soon.
- Base pay included
- The job repeated the same process as the one I had just left. “Ummmm, no thanks”.
- The amount of hours vs the pay rate wasn’t worth it. “So I’ll be making less than minimum wage with only 20 hrs/wk? Hahahaha, bye”.
- The start date was pushed out pretty far. “Great! I like the job description and the pay rate, now we wait”!
People with ropes around their necks don’t always hang! – Angel Eyes (Movie quote – The Good The Bad and The Ugly)
My first interview was with Florida Home Improvement. For some reason I thought I was going in for a customer service position. I can stay in the office and help people with improving the structure of their homes and get over minimum wage. I was excited to interview. Once seated with the interviewer I realize that it is practically identical to my last job with the exception of receiving some form of base pay. I hated the idea of spending my whole day walking neighborhoods seeking that 1 person to sign up for service. That’s a BIG no for me boss. I was bummed and I had to politely say, “Never mind, thank you for the opportunity”. So close!
Next I had interviews with both Starbucks and Panera Bread. I love coffee so you already know I was all the way down to work at Starbucks even at part time. I ROCKED that interview and was offered a job right then and there. I accepted. The bonus to that was that the base pay was higher than minimum wage. I loved that! My start date was a little ways out, but I had hope that I could snag a secondary job in no time.
I then went in to Panera. Similar to Starbucks, I received an offer not long after my intial and 2nd interview. I went to an orientation to begin as a delivery driver, however, forgetting that I’m riding dirty out here without insurance. Two things with delivery. First thing was that delivery drivers only receive base pay of a little over $5. I was disgusted at this (lol). To make matters worse, the position was going to be 20 hours or less. With that being said I advised the hiring manager that I wouldn’t be able to do delivery seeing as my insurance is expired. I left out that it was because the pay was insulting. I suggested we push my initial app for cashier through. From then they dragged on getting back in touch with me. By this time I had already decided I wouldn’t enjoy my time working for them and turned it down.
Here’s where the golden egg comes in. I got hired to work for ADT security full time with a starting pay that dookeyed all over my previous jobs. THIS IS IT!!!! The catch? I had to wait over a month to begin in November. Really hurtful, truly, but I knew that if I could hold out just a little longer that it would all be worth it. My judgement so far has been accurate because in about a week I will be able to be a contributing member of society once more and I can act like Ayanla and fix my life.
In just 2 months I have had to pray and borrow to cover basic needs, which is the hardest thing for me to do. Ask. Now if you offer something to me I will say yes, but if I have to humble myself and ask for assistance I’ll probably starve first. I’ve had loved ones get on me about this, but it is soooo hard to admit to those you respect that you are struggling and you need them to help you. It’s very important to have people you can call on, I just hate having to call.
Now that I am seeing things slowly pick back up, I can begin to breath a little easier with the light peering over the horizon. I can now plan and make arrangements to correct what has been wronged and rebuild the credit that has thus been destroyed from not having the means to make on-time payments. I’m thankful that I have a place to stay and a support system or I don’t know where I’d be right now.
If you have people in your corner who will be there for you in times of struggle or complication, honor and appreciate them because some people are out here truly suffering because it is all on them. I can’t express enough how much those people mean to me, even if I don’t actively show it, they are what keeps me together.
With the sights looking much brighter, I am excited to see how the road will continue and where I will end up. I hope to bring forth more positive news and energy and tell stories on new adventures, new friends, and new goals; new ideas, new content, and new business prospects. So far, everything is looking up and I can’t wait to tell you more about it!
Stay up my friends! The car don’t stop unless you stop driving!
Let’s keep pushing, keep moving, and keep that energy high, for that turning point is closer than you think!
Remember when I made the post about traveling/relocating in Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home? Do you also remember when I said I wish I could just get up and go? Well guess what? Yup, you guessed it. I made the blind leap to up and leave. I’m currently in the big, I mean BIG, city of Jacksonville, FL and I must admit, I love it, however, I wish I would have committed sooner to the move and had money saved.
I was first given the chance to move down here several months ago from my cousin who’s husband was being stationed here in Jacksonville, but I allowed myself to doubt the transition and I backed out of it. Once again, fear made its mark and influenced my thoughts and decisions. As time grew nearer to the move and my gut kept telling me I was about to miss what looked like my best chance to leave, I panicked and made a last minute decision to go. This indeed was a huge gamble on my part. I had no place to go once arrived, no job, and only my car. I figured, hey people have done it before me, why can’t I? Pause for nervous laughter.
I had just enough money to make the road trip down with no real concept of what I would do after the fact. The lord must have truly been shining on me because my cousin, who also decided to come down, landed a house sit for 3 weeks upon arrival and extended the offer to me. I was so relieved that the home owners were so laid back and willing to allow me to stay and assist in the house sitting. Still, there is enough stress to kill a small horse. So far I’ve been blessed to have landed a job within the first 5 days of arrival and visited a couple prospective apartments within a realistic budget. Although things are looking up my anxiety couldn’t be higher. There are still some unresolved issues back home, I don’t yet have any income to put towards housing, the cousin who has helped me tremendously may now be depending on me to help in establishing residence within the next couple of weeks and again I’M BROKE. Jesus take the wheel!!!!
With all that being said, I do rely on Jesus to get me over the hump of my doubts, fears, and anxieties for the ensuing weeks. I know that even though times look dark the God above can create a way out of absolutely no way. Right now that is what I have to hold on to. My faith in that must be stronger than my anxieties and fears. IT HAS TO BE if I want to see this thing through. I wish I could have stuck to my earlier decision and not have wavered from it. Looking back I think that I was asked too many times if I was sure. The more someone asks me this question the more I begin to doubt if I should follow through or just make due with my current course, or that maybe they’re no longer sure of me going and now I’m no longer sure. Either way it goes I’m here now and I have to dig deep to make things run smoothly.
WHATEVER THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE
I just started reading a book entitled “What Should I Do With My Life?” and it states in the introduction that most of the time people are forced to tap into their true potential out of struggle vs. desire. While we are in a good situation we only state what it is that we want to do, but when we are in a position of hard times we tend to act on it. Now more than ever I can see that I HAVE to go big because the only other option would be to go home. Before coming down here it was definitely just a statement, but now it is my reality and my reality is that I do not want to go home. I would love to call Florida my new home, so that only leaves me with one option; GRIND GRIND GRIND WITHOUT CEASING!!!
This may be by far the scariest yet most fulfilling time of my life, so while I’m here I am going to make the most out of it and do what I have to do in order to see my goals come into fruition. There is no giving up! I have to go big or I have to go home and going home is not a part of my list of goals!!!
So I’ve been watching the Hulu series “A Handmade’s Tale” and I must say that although it is a fictional storyline, it is eerily parallel to some of the things going on today. If you haven’t been watching I suggest you start and take note of some current events and how they seem to be in line with the show’s plot.
The show basically depicts an alternate reality in present times. The liberties that we currently have are no longer in place and a new singular law has taken over. If you’re familiar with the bible it is most definitely old testimant law. The man is the head and the woman is obedient unto him. Infertility has struck and Handmade’s are put in place to have children for those of high ranking. Most of these Handmade’s used to have respectable jobs and careers with children and families of their own. Those in control separated these families forcing the women into submission and forfeiting their old ways of life.
Imagine the life you have now. As a woman you are able to make a living, have a career, work alongside men mostly equal, free to live life as you so choose. Now imagine that in the course of a few months all of that is gone and you can try to flee to canada, die trying, or get captured and forced to become a handmade simply there to have children for other people.
In the show the transition to the escalating change was subtle, just enough to notice but not enough to be on guard of something drastic. So let’s look at real life.
Recently I stumbled on some news stating that a nationally recognized editorial cartoonist, Rob Rogers, was fired from the Pittsburg Post Gazette after 19 or so of his drawings were denied inclusion in the paper. I initially saw the info on Twitter under thenib.com. The art displayed satirical content toward our current president, Donald Trump. Apparently the editorial cartoonist and the editor had political differences which ultimately led to Rogers termination.
Although the show isn’t based on a newspaper, the idea that our freedom of speech can be compromised is a big deal. As it is, the only person who seems to be allowed to say whatever they want without reprimand is Trump, regardless of the backlash. If this were Obama’s presidential term, he would have been impeached before the first vote were cast.
Aside from our first amendment being tested, I also saw a snippet of a press briefing with none other than Sarah Sanders. A reporter asked Sarah about the children being separated from their parents for deportation and if she felt any empathy in that regard and in classic form Sarah disregarded the man for being passionate on the topic and proceeded to bypass the question all together.
I’ll give Sarah some credit. She had the best poker face I’ve ever witnessed or she is truly the coldest bitch alive. Either way she’s a savage. I can’t recall ever seeing a trace of human emotion on Sarah. I think she may be cia or maybe extra terrestrial. The fact is, her cold disregard for the condition of these children and how it impacts families is a little terrifying. What’s next? Shoot, who’s next? Based on the president’s campaigns it might be safe to say that rich white people are in the clear. As for the rest of us I’d say get your affairs in order and update or get yourself a passport just in case.
Looking at how the president is buddy buddy with leaders who have made efforts to compromise our democracy and domestic safety is quite unsettling. If you are not even just a little bit nervous about what the future of the US holds, I suggest you pay closer attention to what is happening right now in our political world and in our justice system. With each new headline that outlines the treachery of the president and his delegates, the more I get the feeling that we are getting closer and closer to becoming some version of the show.
Electoral midterms are underway so I emplore each and every one of us to complete the ballet and turn it in. If there’s not much else we can do, we can vote! Let’s prevent a real life Handmade’s Tale from happening!
It never fails. You’ve started to take action on some of your interests. Job is going well, you’re feeling confident about progress you’ve made in getting “your shit together” and you feel positive about the route you’re taking then BOOM, disaster strikes. All of your hard work and motivation is slashed by a series of unfortunate events and now you are back to square one.
What is it about getting ahead in life that triggers those moments of backpeddling? Why can’t life see that you are making an effort to improve your current status in the world and give you a get out of jail free card? What usually ends up happening is we get dealt the “Go straight to jail! Do not pass go do not collect $200.” Card from the “chance” pile. Life must be sitting back waiting for us to get a good momentum started and at the perfect moment throws a branch under our roller skates.
Life can suck a duck if you catch my drift.
Okay, so life can be a major and unapologetic BITCH, but we can still push our way forward. Take it from me, I got dealt some crap here recently but it’s okay. Just because things don’t work out perfectly in your favor doesn’t mean you have to curl up and die. There are plenty of success stories that start out in a sprint and they hit a brick wall. From there tragedies these people may go through a bit of a rut, but eventually come back better than they did before. Think about Will Smith, Keanu Reeves, and Robert Downy Junior. Think of Oprah, Meryl Streep, and Lady Gaga. This is a tiny handful of entertainers who have hit walls and have managed to become some of our favorite idols.
Sometimes when life seems to be shitting on us all at once, it’s just karma making its rounds. Those lucky moments that we may get after a major “f” up is just life saying, “I’m gonna let that slide for now, but I will get mines later”.
Even when that is the case we should keep our heads up! We may go through a period of sadness, but we should always keep our goals in the back of our mind as to not completely give up. Each day will provide an opportunity of encouragement. A friend may remind you that they enjoyed or benefited from the things you were doing. Another person may ask you how things are going with those goals. You, yourself, will recall the joy that you received from following through with your dreams and little by little you will climb out of your “pit of despair” and put yourself back together.
Life can most definitely be a hater, but it also gives opportunities to prove that theory wrong and challenge you to do and be better.
So let’s get out that and stick it to life and show her that even if she tries to roast us, kick us while we’re down and distract us, we will overcome those setbacks and achieve our goals and conquer our dreams!
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine whom I often see at my job as a customer and we were discussing our end games. Initially when they asked me I didn’t really know what my end game was, but as I thought about it I knew that I wanted my end game to revolve around me doing what I loved and traveling the world. As of this year I have started to explore the desires and passions of my heart. I started my own podcast through anchor.fm and I started to blog, which I found to be very fulfilling as well. I know that in these areas I still have a ways to go before I am what they call ” a pro”, but I’m liking my adventure within it so far. My intent with podcasting and blogging is to have enough influence to gain the right amount of popularity to devote my full time to the craft.
I would also like to travel. My dream destinations include the Caribbean and other tropical locations such as Bali or the Virgin Islands. I love that I can say I was born in America, but there are times that I feel that this isn’t my final resting place. I do believe that I am meant to grow out of here and expand into the woman I know I can become.
Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”– Andre Gide
I recently joined a company that provides services as well as business opportunities and on the way back from a conference I saw an RV park and said, “My dream is to get an RV and travel cross country”. Right then the driver says, “that’s exactly what I want to do to travel and expand my business”. Initially I didn’t think to do that. I just wanted to be able to travel without being tied to a lease agreement, but to be able to travel across country and making money on the go was a new and exciting addition to that goal.
There are a lot of different ways the “end” could actually wind up, but if I put in the necessary work I should be able to network with like minded people who see the vision of all the many different avenues I see myself traveling down, I can have an ending that is satisfactory to me. On the way I want to be able to expand blogging into more in depth writing like books or journals. I want to be able to have a podcast widely sought after and subscribed to and I also want to reach and service those within my new venture in ways that will assist me in any other project I desire to invest in.
What’s most important about having an end game is the work that you put forth to getting there. Most of us know that in order to be highly successful sometimes you have to sacrifice the things that won’t contribute to our growth. This can be tough, especially if what we have to sacrifice includes loved ones. Loved ones mean well, but sometimes they can also be the very people to hold you back. As I pointed out in Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home, you have to take care of yourself first in order to help others. This simply means that you cannot meet the needs of your family before meeting the needs of your own passions and desires.
So what’s your end game? What do you plan to do come retirement? Do you plan to have a cozy family home that you can grow old with? Do you want to travel the world? Or do you want to have a combination of the two?
I’d love to get your “end game” goals! Plus putting them into the universe can’t hurt either right? SPEAK IT INTO EXISTENCE!
Until next time!
Ok ladies let’s talk about it. You’re with bae or that “special” friend or a new conquest and y’all start getting frisky. Cloths have come off and you’ve done your part to get him aroused and ready to go. You think to yourself, yeah it’s about to go down, he’s been talkin hella shit, I can’t wait. As things progress you notice more and more that you aren’t getting anywhere near your peak and you start to get annoyed. Alright buddy what’s really going on here because you made it seem like you were about to turn my life upside down, yet, here I am wondering what the hell I’m doing here.
How many of us can relate? How many of us are still dealing with it, only because he captured our heart before our panties? How many of us can say that it is down right disrespectful for the “man” to always get his whilst leaving us hanging and wanting for more? The tragedy in this is a lot of the time the guy doesn’t even realize that he is garbage in bed and we, the females, are too nice or too in love to tell him “you’re trash”.
Look fellas, I get it, sometimes you can’t control that “bust”, but damn think of ya girl in all this. If ya man-man can’t finish the job, another body part can. What that mouth do? Grab her secret soldier out of the drawer and use that as a fill in while you play with her bits. FIGURE IT OUT!
She is trying really, Really, REALLY hard not to step out on you because she cares about your feelings, but let’s face it, not every woman is willing or able to be that strong. If you see her going out of her way to buy new toys, lubes and outfits to spice it up or she is doing everything in her power to resuscitate your clearly dead worm, it’s time to take additional measures.
Don’t be ashamed to look into the well known blue pill. Be ashamed that you can’t please your woman because, believe me, she’s telling her girlfriends all about it. That look of pity or amusement you catch from them from time to time could very well be correlated to her account of her misery.
So my sistahs, do yourself a favor and either tell your man pipe up, nigga pipe up, get him a prescription for Viagra, or make him eat out your soul because ummmm yeah. None of us have time to be accepting mediocre D and a lack of arousal. Women in other countries shame their husbands when he can’t hold it down, so he better come with it.
That’s all I had for you today. I hope you enjoyed the read.
Until next time!