Blog, Coffee & Conversations, News, Social Issues

Lets Talk – “A Handmade’s Tale” ; Just a show or a prediction?

So I’ve been watching the Hulu series “A Handmade’s Tale” and I must say that although it is a fictional storyline, it is eerily parallel to some of the things going on today. If you haven’t been watching I suggest you start and take note of some current events and how they seem to be in line with the show’s plot.

The show basically depicts an alternate reality in present times. The liberties that we currently have are no longer in place and a new singular law has taken over. If you’re familiar with the bible it is most definitely old testimant law. The man is the head and the woman is obedient unto him. Infertility has struck and Handmade’s are put in place to have children for those of high ranking. Most of these Handmade’s used to have respectable jobs and careers with children and families of their own. Those in control separated these families forcing the women into submission and forfeiting their old ways of life.

Imagine the life you have now. As a woman you are able to make a living, have a career, work alongside men mostly equal, free to live life as you so choose. Now imagine that in the course of a few months all of that is gone and you can try to flee to canada, die trying, or get captured and forced to become a handmade simply there to have children for other people.

In the show the transition to the escalating change was subtle, just enough to notice but not enough to be on guard of something drastic. So let’s look at real life.

Recently I stumbled on some news stating that a nationally recognized editorial cartoonist, Rob Rogers, was fired from the Pittsburg Post Gazette after 19 or so of his drawings were denied inclusion in the paper. I initially saw the info on Twitter under thenib.com. The art displayed satirical content toward our current president, Donald Trump. Apparently the editorial cartoonist and the editor had political differences which ultimately led to Rogers termination.

Although the show isn’t based on a newspaper, the idea that our freedom of speech can be compromised is a big deal. As it is, the only person who seems to be allowed to say whatever they want without reprimand is Trump, regardless of the backlash. If this were Obama’s presidential term, he would have been impeached before the first vote were cast.

Aside from our first amendment being tested, I also saw a snippet of a press briefing with none other than Sarah Sanders. A reporter asked Sarah about the children being separated from their parents for deportation and if she felt any empathy in that regard and in classic form Sarah disregarded the man for being passionate on the topic and proceeded to bypass the question all together.

I’ll give Sarah some credit. She had the best poker face I’ve ever witnessed or she is truly the coldest bitch alive. Either way she’s a savage. I can’t recall ever seeing a trace of human emotion on Sarah. I think she may be cia or maybe extra terrestrial. The fact is, her cold disregard for the condition of these children and how it impacts families is a little terrifying. What’s next? Shoot, who’s next? Based on the president’s campaigns it might be safe to say that rich white people are in the clear. As for the rest of us I’d say get your affairs in order and update or get yourself a passport just in case.

Looking at how the president is buddy buddy with leaders who have made efforts to compromise our democracy and domestic safety is quite unsettling. If you are not even just a little bit nervous about what the future of the US holds, I suggest you pay closer attention to what is happening right now in our political world and in our justice system. With each new headline that outlines the treachery of the president and his delegates, the more I get the feeling that we are getting closer and closer to becoming some version of the show.

Electoral midterms are underway so I emplore each and every one of us to complete the ballet and turn it in. If there’s not much else we can do, we can vote! Let’s prevent a real life Handmade’s Tale from happening!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – What’s Your End Game?

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine whom I often see at my job as a customer and we were discussing our end games. Initially when they asked me I didn’t really know what my end game was, but as I thought about it I knew that I wanted my end game to revolve around me doing what I loved and traveling the world. As of this year I have started to explore the desires and passions of my heart. I started my own podcast through anchor.fm and I started to blog, which I found to be very fulfilling as well. I know that in these areas I still have a ways to go before I am what they call ” a pro”, but I’m liking my adventure within it so far. My intent with podcasting and blogging is to have enough influence to gain the right amount of popularity to devote my full time to the craft.

I would also like to travel. My dream destinations include the Caribbean and other tropical locations such as Bali or the Virgin Islands. I love that I can say I was born in America, but there are times that I feel that this isn’t my final resting place. I do believe that I am meant to grow out of here and expand into the woman I know I can become.

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

– Andre Gide

I recently joined a company that provides services as well as business opportunities and on the way back from a conference I saw an RV park and said, “My dream is to get an RV and travel cross country”. Right then the driver says, “that’s exactly what I want to do to travel and expand my business”. Initially I didn’t think to do that. I just wanted to be able to travel without being tied to a lease agreement, but to be able to travel across country and making money on the go was a new and exciting addition to that goal.

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There are a lot of different ways the “end” could actually wind up, but if I put in the necessary work I should be able to network with like minded people who see the vision of all the many different avenues I see myself traveling down, I can have an ending that is satisfactory to me. On the way I want to be able to expand blogging into more in depth writing like books or journals. I want to be able to have a podcast widely sought after and subscribed to and I also want to reach and service those within my new venture in ways that will assist me in any other project I desire to invest in.

What’s most important about having an end game is the work that you put forth to getting there. Most of us know that in order to be highly successful sometimes you have to sacrifice the things that won’t contribute to our growth. This can be tough, especially if what we have to sacrifice includes loved ones. Loved ones mean well, but sometimes they can also be the very people to hold you back. As I pointed out in Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home, you have to take care of yourself first in order to help others. This simply means that you cannot meet the needs of your family before meeting the needs of your own passions and desires.

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So what’s your end game? What do you plan to do come retirement? Do you plan to have a cozy family home that you can grow old with? Do you want to travel the world? Or do you want to have a combination of the two?

I’d love to get your “end game” goals! Plus putting them into the universe can’t hurt either right? SPEAK IT INTO EXISTENCE!

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, comedy, Relationships

Let’s Talk – Is It Worth It? Let Me Work It!

Ok ladies let’s talk about it. You’re with bae or that “special” friend or a new conquest and y’all start getting frisky. Cloths have come off and you’ve done your part to get him aroused and ready to go. You think to yourself, yeah it’s about to go down, he’s been talkin hella shit, I can’t wait. As things progress you notice more and more that you aren’t getting anywhere near your peak and you start to get annoyed. Alright buddy what’s really going on here because you made it seem like you were about to turn my life upside down, yet, here I am wondering what the hell I’m doing here.


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How many of us can relate? How many of us are still dealing with it, only because he captured our heart before our panties? How many of us can say that it is down right disrespectful for the “man” to always get his whilst leaving us hanging and wanting for more? The tragedy in this is a lot of the time the guy doesn’t even realize that he is garbage in bed and we, the females, are too nice or too in love to tell him “you’re trash”second

Look fellas, I get it, sometimes you can’t control that “bust”, but damn think of ya girl in all this. If ya man-man can’t finish the job, another body part can. What that mouth do? Grab her secret soldier out of the drawer and use that as a fill in while you play with her bits. FIGURE IT OUT!

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What that mouth do?

She is trying really, Really, REALLY hard not to step out on you because she cares about your feelings, but let’s face it, not every woman is willing or able to be that strong. If you see her going out of her way to buy new toys, lubes and outfits to spice it up or she is doing everything in her power to resuscitate your clearly dead worm, it’s time to take additional measures.

Don’t be ashamed to look into the well known blue pill. Be ashamed that you can’t please your woman because, believe me, she’s telling her girlfriends all about it. That look of pity or amusement you catch from them from time to time could very well be correlated to her account of her misery.

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So my sistahs, do yourself  a favor and either tell your man pipe up, nigga pipe up, get him a prescription for Viagra, or make him eat out your soul because ummmm yeah. None of us have time to be accepting mediocre D and a lack of arousal. Women in other countries shame their husbands when he can’t hold it down, so he better come with it.

 

That’s all I had for you today. I hope you enjoyed the read.

Until next time!

 

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Staying Busy

Hey y’all whats up? I just had to make a post related to keeping your mind off of an ex or a stressful situation. I’m here to say that sometimes in order to keep your mind off of it you have to get busy or stay busy. You know that down time you are using to obsess over what can’t be fixed? You should use that time and energy on something that entertains you or brings you peace.

Do you enjoy reading? Pick up a new book and dive in. Do you like going on hikes and experiencing the outdoors? Set up a mini trip either by yourself or with friends. Do you like playing video games? Make a goal to reach a new level or improve your rank scores and get to it. These may not be at the top of your list of things to do, but I promise you, once you begin to take your mind off of your problems and focus on the things you enjoy doing, your mind will begin to recover and/or process a solution much faster.

Sometimes we want to dwell on our sorrow and anguish in the dreadfulness of it all. We want to feel all the feels and justify staying in that place by pointing out all the negative impacts it is having on us and our lives. This, however, is not going to actually solve anything, rather, it may make it worse because you are not putting in any energy toward a positive outcome. Just as evil begets evil so does negativity.

I won’t lie to you though. It is often much easier to wallow in the pit of despair than to climb out of it, but the reward is very much worth it. Put effort into your own peace. Put effort into your own happiness. At the end of the day, you will be the only person accountable for either, so make it count.

Personally I’ve decided that I can no longer apply brakes to my life for the sake of another. By doing so, you allow whoever or whatever to rob you of your own ambitions and momentum because you have slowed down in hopes that your desire will be fulfilled. My only insight on this matter is if you have to slow down for anything to fit into your life, it wasn’t meant to be there in the first place.

Be true to you and the goals you have set for yourself. Don’t allow the disappointments of life drag you down. If you find yourself distracted by these stresses, apply your time into the things that bring you joy and peace. Remember that at the end of the day you are worth more than your circumstances and there is more for you than you have ever imagined. Focus on positive energy. Distract your mind with activity meant to push you forward and encourage you. Surround yourself by things and people that help to bring out your inner light and never sway from your unique self.

Be empowered!

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home

I feel like I want to do something unquestionable. I feel as though I need to take a big step toward my future, but I’m not sure how I should go about doing it. I’ve always seen myself as an urbanista walking the streets of Brooklyn or even Maryland and absorbing all of the culture, drama and entertainment in ways that I can’t here in the Pacific Northwest. Don’t get me wrong, the Pacific Northwest has been very good to me. I love it’s beauty and the opportunities that it does provide to those living here educationally and economically. Even with that, I still feel like I need to travel and experience life beyond the ever-green state.

If I did leave Washington there would be a few things that I know I’d miss for sure. Those things include family, Pike Place Market, the beautiful landscape, and the minimum wage!

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I’m sure after a couple months, however, I would get used to my new surroundings and culture and begin exploring my new homeland. The biggest question I have for myself is where would I best fit in? I visited NY and absolutely loved it, but it can be kind of pricey. I’ve been to FL and the area is nice, but the humidity may be a deal breaker. I need to take a trip to DC/Maryland to get a feel for that part of the east coast to see how that treats me. I’ve even considered Arizona, though, not east coast, I have put that on my list of possible locations that I would move to.

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I know the best way to relocate is with proper planning and saving, but I find myself just wanting to pack up the little that I have and just leaving, figuring things out along the way. Is this a reckless idea? Possibly, but I can’t help but think that is the only way I will actually take charge of my destiny and do exactly what I want to do. As much as I love my family and my friends, as much as I love the scenery and different dynamics of Washington, I feel that I must take the path that best suits me. I want to go somewhere not just because it is a new place and its an opportunity to move. I want to move someplace I can see myself in; a place that I know I can grow and evolve in, on my own terms.

I feel that now more than ever I need to put my needs and wants before those that I love because at the end of the day, I can’t be who I want to be for them if I never let myself grow into that person. We may love our friends, our family, and our hometown, but there will come a time when you have to set those things aside in order for you to become the person you’d always dreamed you would be. As Iyanla Vanzant would say, it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself first, it’s self-full. She said that the way you treat yourself is the way you treat God. In order to serve God to the best of your abilities you must first be full.

My cup runneth over. What comes out of the cup is for y’all, whats in the cup is mine.

-Iyanla Vanzant

To see the clip of Iyanla click here.

So I think that over the next several months my plan will be to prepare for a big move. I will keep it hush until I’m certain and ready to make my journey. I’d like to be reckless and just go, but who am I kidding, I wanna show up move in ready lol. So I challenge all who reads this to put yourself first, make that risky move, go for what you want because in order to be your best you must treat yourself accordingly.

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, Relationships, self improvement

Let’s Talk – He Ain’t The One Sis

Don’t you hate it when you find yourself wasting your time on someone you thought was “the one”? Yeah I think most of us have been there at least once in our lives. Here comes this handsome, charming, what we think is a man, and he gives us all the feels but he is lacking that extra most important ingredient. He is missing that key piece of maturity called commitment. For some reason committing is a word he is allergic too. He doesn’t want you to know this so instead he will lie, act, and play on your emotions to hide the fact that he simply doesn’t want to commit to you. These guys will either jump into a relationship with you and never really do anything to grow into the relationship, or you’ll have the one who clearly appears to like you and enjoys being around you, but will refuse to lock you down.

The hardest part with dealing with this type of guy is that we, the ones dealing with him, have a hard time letting go. We know deep down that he is stringing us along, but we just have to see if, by some miracle, he will realize that we are the best thing to have ever come into his life. It’s almost like a drug. We get so high off of the idea of our ever after with our dream guy and lose all sense of reality or logical thought. We hold on to that dream until we are completely drained and exhausted from trying to keep it alive. I think that it is important to remember that we are very valuable creatures. We offer more than just comfort and ease, we offer the joys in life like starting a family, supporting our husbands and planning for a bigger future. We simply get caught in the trap of a swindler. Someone who takes advantage of our kind disposition and willingness to support and uplift. No more!

I think that for those dealing with a boyfriend who continues to give empty promises, it’s time to wake up. For those holding on to the dream that he will see you for the woman you are, it’s time to wake up. For those that are waiting for the perfect guy to see the inner beauty within, it’s time to wake up. We can no longer pretend that there is a perfect guy, and we can no longer ignore the signs that the person we want isn’t putting in equal effort to make sure they are who they need to be for us. It is time to set a higher bar, a higher standard, a higher sense of self. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy what it is that we want and expect. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy that he may be an adult but he isn’t a grown man. We don’t have to feel bad for finally standing up for ourselves and our hearts. We are the prize at the end of the day, so if he can’t or won’t step up to the plate of a grown man, he needs to go back to the dugout so another man can step up to bat.

Sometimes being alone is not the end of the world, but rather, the beginning of the journey you were supposed to be on all along. Loneliness can trick us into thinking that we need to be in a romantic relationship, when in reality, it can simply mean that we need to venture out and connect with like minded and spirited people. We can be single and still experience all the joy that life has to offer. Being in a relationship is a blessing, however, forcing one can curse your life.

I used the word “we” a lot because, like a pastor would say, as I preach to you I also preach to myself. It isn’t fair to hold on to something that isn’t helping you grow beyond yourself. Why try forcing something that should just be? Why stress over someone who isn’t stressed about you? Why care if they are on hard times when they turn down opportunities to turn it around? No longer! No longer should we waist our time or our value. I believe that these guys I speak of can still be our friends, but only to an extent. They must know that there are now boundaries to how close they can get to us. They must appreciate that we have chosen to love ourselves more than the idea of love. If that guy truly ever cared for you he will understand and respect your decision and you will know that you had a friend in that person, no more and no less. If the guy tries to turn it around on you, get rid of him and never look back, for that person only cares about themselves and was never a friend.

It can be hard to let go of what you thought was a good thing, but in the end, you will be all the better and stronger for it. Keep in mind that if your soul isn’t being fed you may never truly feel happy, yet you will always be searching for something that may not exist. Continue to love, continue to grow, and continue to evolve. The person that you are meant to be with will likely add to, not take away from those things and you will know the difference. If that person never comes along for you, don’t fret, for you may have the gift of exploration. You will be free to do great things and reach many without losing self and gaining all that you desire. Stay focused on the things that bring joy to your life and be kind to all.

It’s 2018, let’s leave all the grown man babies behind and takeoff into the land of maturity and growth!

 

Coffee & Conversations, Poem, relaxation, self improvement

Let’s Talk – I Am Who I Am

I am more than just a late night tour. I am more than the subtle warmth between the sheets. I am more than the small talk via text message. I am more than the unclear answers I receive to a specific question. I am more than the figure at the door. I am more than the struggling smile fighting back tears. I am more than a face. I am more than a body. I am more than a security blanket. I am more than the time on the clock. 

I am a person with feeling. Vibrant and dynamic I shine through overcast. I am joyful and laughter is my elixir. I am peace within, speaking to the inner power that dwells building its confidence. I am light like India Arie, spreading it as far as it will reach.

I am no longer giving in to pain. I am no longer feeding self doubt. I am no longer allowing my light to be dimmed. I am no longer passively letting my heart be broken. I am no longer tolerant of tyrants. I am no longer allowing my kindness to be mistaken for weakness.

I am who I am, so take it or leave it.