Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – I Went Big, But Should I Go Home?

Remember when I made the post about traveling/relocating in Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home? Do you also remember when I said I wish I could just get up and go? Well guess what? Yup, you guessed it. I made the blind leap to up and leave. I’m currently in the big, I mean BIG, city of Jacksonville, FL and I must admit, I love it, however, I wish I would have committed sooner to the move and had money saved.

I was first given the chance to move down here several months ago from my cousin who’s husband was being stationed here in Jacksonville, but I allowed myself to doubt the transition and I backed out of it. Once again, fear made its mark and influenced my thoughts and decisions. As time grew nearer to the move and my gut kept telling me I was about to miss what looked like my best chance to leave, I panicked and made a last minute decision to go. This indeed was a huge gamble on my part. I had no place to go once arrived, no job, and only my car. I figured, hey people have done it before me, why can’t I? Pause for nervous laughter.

I had just enough money to make the road trip down with no real concept of what I would do after the fact. The lord must have truly been shining on me because my cousin, who also decided to come down, landed a house sit for 3 weeks upon arrival and extended the offer to me. I was so relieved that the home owners were so laid back and willing to allow me to stay and assist in the house sitting. Still, there is enough stress to kill a small horse. So far I’ve been blessed to have landed a job within the first 5 days of arrival and visited a couple prospective apartments within a realistic budget. Although things are looking up my anxiety couldn’t be higher. There are still some unresolved issues back home, I don’t yet have any income to put towards housing, the cousin who has helped me tremendously may now be depending on me to help in establishing residence within the next couple of weeks and again I’M BROKE. Jesus take the wheel!!!!

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With all that being said, I do rely on Jesus to get me over the hump of my doubts, fears,  and anxieties for the ensuing weeks. I know that even though times look dark the God above can create a way out of absolutely no way. Right now that is what I have to hold on to. My faith in that must be stronger than my anxieties and fears. IT HAS TO BE if I want to see this thing through. I wish I could have stuck to my earlier decision and not have wavered from it. Looking back I think that I was asked too many times if I was sure. The more someone asks me this question the more I begin to doubt if I should follow through or just make due with my current course, or that maybe they’re no longer sure of me going and now I’m no longer sure. Either way it goes I’m here now and I have to dig deep to make things run smoothly.

WHATEVER THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE

-NAPOLEON HILL

Motivationping.com

I just started reading a book entitled “What Should I Do With My Life?” and it states in the introduction that most of the time people are forced to tap into their true potential out of struggle vs. desire. While we are in a good situation we only state what it is that we want to do, but when we are in a position of hard times we tend to act on it. Now more than ever I can see that I HAVE to go big because the only other option would be to go home. Before coming down here it was definitely just a statement, but now it is my reality and my reality is that I do not want to go home. I would love to call Florida my new home, so that only leaves me with one option; GRIND GRIND GRIND WITHOUT CEASING!!!

This may be by far the scariest yet most fulfilling time of my life, so while I’m here I am going to make the most out of it and do what I have to do in order to see my goals come into fruition. There is no giving up! I have to go big or I have to go home and going home is not a part of my list of goals!!!

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Blog, Coffee & Conversations, News, Social Issues

Lets Talk – “A Handmade’s Tale” ; Just a show or a prediction?

So I’ve been watching the Hulu series “A Handmade’s Tale” and I must say that although it is a fictional storyline, it is eerily parallel to some of the things going on today. If you haven’t been watching I suggest you start and take note of some current events and how they seem to be in line with the show’s plot.

The show basically depicts an alternate reality in present times. The liberties that we currently have are no longer in place and a new singular law has taken over. If you’re familiar with the bible it is most definitely old testimant law. The man is the head and the woman is obedient unto him. Infertility has struck and Handmade’s are put in place to have children for those of high ranking. Most of these Handmade’s used to have respectable jobs and careers with children and families of their own. Those in control separated these families forcing the women into submission and forfeiting their old ways of life.

Imagine the life you have now. As a woman you are able to make a living, have a career, work alongside men mostly equal, free to live life as you so choose. Now imagine that in the course of a few months all of that is gone and you can try to flee to canada, die trying, or get captured and forced to become a handmade simply there to have children for other people.

In the show the transition to the escalating change was subtle, just enough to notice but not enough to be on guard of something drastic. So let’s look at real life.

Recently I stumbled on some news stating that a nationally recognized editorial cartoonist, Rob Rogers, was fired from the Pittsburg Post Gazette after 19 or so of his drawings were denied inclusion in the paper. I initially saw the info on Twitter under thenib.com. The art displayed satirical content toward our current president, Donald Trump. Apparently the editorial cartoonist and the editor had political differences which ultimately led to Rogers termination.

Although the show isn’t based on a newspaper, the idea that our freedom of speech can be compromised is a big deal. As it is, the only person who seems to be allowed to say whatever they want without reprimand is Trump, regardless of the backlash. If this were Obama’s presidential term, he would have been impeached before the first vote were cast.

Aside from our first amendment being tested, I also saw a snippet of a press briefing with none other than Sarah Sanders. A reporter asked Sarah about the children being separated from their parents for deportation and if she felt any empathy in that regard and in classic form Sarah disregarded the man for being passionate on the topic and proceeded to bypass the question all together.

I’ll give Sarah some credit. She had the best poker face I’ve ever witnessed or she is truly the coldest bitch alive. Either way she’s a savage. I can’t recall ever seeing a trace of human emotion on Sarah. I think she may be cia or maybe extra terrestrial. The fact is, her cold disregard for the condition of these children and how it impacts families is a little terrifying. What’s next? Shoot, who’s next? Based on the president’s campaigns it might be safe to say that rich white people are in the clear. As for the rest of us I’d say get your affairs in order and update or get yourself a passport just in case.

Looking at how the president is buddy buddy with leaders who have made efforts to compromise our democracy and domestic safety is quite unsettling. If you are not even just a little bit nervous about what the future of the US holds, I suggest you pay closer attention to what is happening right now in our political world and in our justice system. With each new headline that outlines the treachery of the president and his delegates, the more I get the feeling that we are getting closer and closer to becoming some version of the show.

Electoral midterms are underway so I emplore each and every one of us to complete the ballet and turn it in. If there’s not much else we can do, we can vote! Let’s prevent a real life Handmade’s Tale from happening!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Life Can Be A Hater

It never fails. You’ve started to take action on some of your interests. Job is going well, you’re feeling confident about progress you’ve made in getting “your shit together” and you feel positive about the route you’re taking then BOOM, disaster strikes. All of your hard work and motivation is slashed by a series of unfortunate events and now you are back to square one.

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What is it about getting ahead in life that triggers those moments of backpeddling? Why can’t life see that you are making an effort to improve your current status in the world and give you a get out of jail free card? What usually ends up happening is we get dealt the “Go straight to jail! Do not pass go do not collect $200.” Card from the “chance” pile. Life must be sitting back waiting for us to get a good momentum started and at the perfect moment throws a branch under our roller skates.

Life can suck a duck if you catch my drift.

Okay, so life can be a major and unapologetic BITCH, but we can still push our way forward. Take it from me, I got dealt some crap here recently but it’s okay. Just because things don’t work out perfectly in your favor doesn’t mean you have to curl up and die. There are plenty of success stories that start out in a sprint and they hit a brick wall. From there tragedies these people may go through a bit of a rut, but eventually come back better than they did before. Think about Will Smith, Keanu Reeves, and Robert Downy Junior. Think of Oprah, Meryl Streep, and Lady Gaga. This is a tiny handful of entertainers who have hit walls and have managed to become some of our favorite idols.

Sometimes when life seems to be shitting on us all at once, it’s just karma making its rounds. Those lucky moments that we may get after a major “f” up is just life saying, “I’m gonna let that slide for now, but I will get mines later”.

Even when that is the case we should keep our heads up! We may go through a period of sadness, but we should always keep our goals in the back of our mind as to not completely give up. Each day will provide an opportunity of encouragement. A friend may remind you that they enjoyed or benefited from the things you were doing. Another person may ask you how things are going with those goals. You, yourself, will recall the joy that you received from following through with your dreams and little by little you will climb out of your “pit of despair” and put yourself back together.

Life can most definitely be a hater, but it also gives opportunities to prove that theory wrong and challenge you to do and be better.

So let’s get out that and stick it to life and show her that even if she tries to roast us, kick us while we’re down and distract us, we will overcome those setbacks and achieve our goals and conquer our dreams!

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Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home

I feel like I want to do something unquestionable. I feel as though I need to take a big step toward my future, but I’m not sure how I should go about doing it. I’ve always seen myself as an urbanista walking the streets of Brooklyn or even Maryland and absorbing all of the culture, drama and entertainment in ways that I can’t here in the Pacific Northwest. Don’t get me wrong, the Pacific Northwest has been very good to me. I love it’s beauty and the opportunities that it does provide to those living here educationally and economically. Even with that, I still feel like I need to travel and experience life beyond the ever-green state.

If I did leave Washington there would be a few things that I know I’d miss for sure. Those things include family, Pike Place Market, the beautiful landscape, and the minimum wage!

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I’m sure after a couple months, however, I would get used to my new surroundings and culture and begin exploring my new homeland. The biggest question I have for myself is where would I best fit in? I visited NY and absolutely loved it, but it can be kind of pricey. I’ve been to FL and the area is nice, but the humidity may be a deal breaker. I need to take a trip to DC/Maryland to get a feel for that part of the east coast to see how that treats me. I’ve even considered Arizona, though, not east coast, I have put that on my list of possible locations that I would move to.

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I know the best way to relocate is with proper planning and saving, but I find myself just wanting to pack up the little that I have and just leaving, figuring things out along the way. Is this a reckless idea? Possibly, but I can’t help but think that is the only way I will actually take charge of my destiny and do exactly what I want to do. As much as I love my family and my friends, as much as I love the scenery and different dynamics of Washington, I feel that I must take the path that best suits me. I want to go somewhere not just because it is a new place and its an opportunity to move. I want to move someplace I can see myself in; a place that I know I can grow and evolve in, on my own terms.

I feel that now more than ever I need to put my needs and wants before those that I love because at the end of the day, I can’t be who I want to be for them if I never let myself grow into that person. We may love our friends, our family, and our hometown, but there will come a time when you have to set those things aside in order for you to become the person you’d always dreamed you would be. As Iyanla Vanzant would say, it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself first, it’s self-full. She said that the way you treat yourself is the way you treat God. In order to serve God to the best of your abilities you must first be full.

My cup runneth over. What comes out of the cup is for y’all, whats in the cup is mine.

-Iyanla Vanzant

To see the clip of Iyanla click here.

So I think that over the next several months my plan will be to prepare for a big move. I will keep it hush until I’m certain and ready to make my journey. I’d like to be reckless and just go, but who am I kidding, I wanna show up move in ready lol. So I challenge all who reads this to put yourself first, make that risky move, go for what you want because in order to be your best you must treat yourself accordingly.

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, Relationships, self improvement

Let’s Talk – He Ain’t The One Sis

Don’t you hate it when you find yourself wasting your time on someone you thought was “the one”? Yeah I think most of us have been there at least once in our lives. Here comes this handsome, charming, what we think is a man, and he gives us all the feels but he is lacking that extra most important ingredient. He is missing that key piece of maturity called commitment. For some reason committing is a word he is allergic too. He doesn’t want you to know this so instead he will lie, act, and play on your emotions to hide the fact that he simply doesn’t want to commit to you. These guys will either jump into a relationship with you and never really do anything to grow into the relationship, or you’ll have the one who clearly appears to like you and enjoys being around you, but will refuse to lock you down.

The hardest part with dealing with this type of guy is that we, the ones dealing with him, have a hard time letting go. We know deep down that he is stringing us along, but we just have to see if, by some miracle, he will realize that we are the best thing to have ever come into his life. It’s almost like a drug. We get so high off of the idea of our ever after with our dream guy and lose all sense of reality or logical thought. We hold on to that dream until we are completely drained and exhausted from trying to keep it alive. I think that it is important to remember that we are very valuable creatures. We offer more than just comfort and ease, we offer the joys in life like starting a family, supporting our husbands and planning for a bigger future. We simply get caught in the trap of a swindler. Someone who takes advantage of our kind disposition and willingness to support and uplift. No more!

I think that for those dealing with a boyfriend who continues to give empty promises, it’s time to wake up. For those holding on to the dream that he will see you for the woman you are, it’s time to wake up. For those that are waiting for the perfect guy to see the inner beauty within, it’s time to wake up. We can no longer pretend that there is a perfect guy, and we can no longer ignore the signs that the person we want isn’t putting in equal effort to make sure they are who they need to be for us. It is time to set a higher bar, a higher standard, a higher sense of self. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy what it is that we want and expect. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy that he may be an adult but he isn’t a grown man. We don’t have to feel bad for finally standing up for ourselves and our hearts. We are the prize at the end of the day, so if he can’t or won’t step up to the plate of a grown man, he needs to go back to the dugout so another man can step up to bat.

Sometimes being alone is not the end of the world, but rather, the beginning of the journey you were supposed to be on all along. Loneliness can trick us into thinking that we need to be in a romantic relationship, when in reality, it can simply mean that we need to venture out and connect with like minded and spirited people. We can be single and still experience all the joy that life has to offer. Being in a relationship is a blessing, however, forcing one can curse your life.

I used the word “we” a lot because, like a pastor would say, as I preach to you I also preach to myself. It isn’t fair to hold on to something that isn’t helping you grow beyond yourself. Why try forcing something that should just be? Why stress over someone who isn’t stressed about you? Why care if they are on hard times when they turn down opportunities to turn it around? No longer! No longer should we waist our time or our value. I believe that these guys I speak of can still be our friends, but only to an extent. They must know that there are now boundaries to how close they can get to us. They must appreciate that we have chosen to love ourselves more than the idea of love. If that guy truly ever cared for you he will understand and respect your decision and you will know that you had a friend in that person, no more and no less. If the guy tries to turn it around on you, get rid of him and never look back, for that person only cares about themselves and was never a friend.

It can be hard to let go of what you thought was a good thing, but in the end, you will be all the better and stronger for it. Keep in mind that if your soul isn’t being fed you may never truly feel happy, yet you will always be searching for something that may not exist. Continue to love, continue to grow, and continue to evolve. The person that you are meant to be with will likely add to, not take away from those things and you will know the difference. If that person never comes along for you, don’t fret, for you may have the gift of exploration. You will be free to do great things and reach many without losing self and gaining all that you desire. Stay focused on the things that bring joy to your life and be kind to all.

It’s 2018, let’s leave all the grown man babies behind and takeoff into the land of maturity and growth!

 

Coffee & Conversations, Poem, relaxation, self improvement

Let’s Talk – I Am Who I Am

I am more than just a late night tour. I am more than the subtle warmth between the sheets. I am more than the small talk via text message. I am more than the unclear answers I receive to a specific question. I am more than the figure at the door. I am more than the struggling smile fighting back tears. I am more than a face. I am more than a body. I am more than a security blanket. I am more than the time on the clock. 

I am a person with feeling. Vibrant and dynamic I shine through overcast. I am joyful and laughter is my elixir. I am peace within, speaking to the inner power that dwells building its confidence. I am light like India Arie, spreading it as far as it will reach.

I am no longer giving in to pain. I am no longer feeding self doubt. I am no longer allowing my light to be dimmed. I am no longer passively letting my heart be broken. I am no longer tolerant of tyrants. I am no longer allowing my kindness to be mistaken for weakness.

I am who I am, so take it or leave it.

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Stay True To Self

I’m pretty confident that most people know what it means when the phrase “I’m doin me” is said. However, if you don’t know, it simply means that you are putting time and energy into the things you want to do. It means that you are putting yourself and your needs first. In most cases this is a single person statement. Singles like to use it to make the statement that at the end of the day they don’t depend on another person to enjoy life. It also means that a single person is free to flirt and talk to whomever they please. As much as I relate to the single person mindset of “doin me” I also think it weighs heavily on staying true to yourself.

“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.”

– Julius Charles Hare

I know that, personally, I have more growth to do, but I also know that the growth I anticipate won’t come from remaining in the same place. Once I tune into my true self and begin to recognize my true self, I can then start to analyze certain characteristics that can be edited or deleted if need be. As you dig into to self and begin discovering new parts of yourself you will realize that some of your bad habits or actions aren’t a true reflection of who it is you are, but rather the outer shell you have created in order to protect yourself from discomfort or pain.

Sometimes the shell we hide behind gets so thick and hardened we think that it is who we are and there is no coming or going back. Yes, it is true that if you do not take the time to “do you” and discover you in the process, those walls, fences, bridges, and whatever other fixture you have subconsciously put up will be very difficult to tear down. Tearing down the security wall forces you to face your ugly truths. When I say they are no fun to face, believe me, they are horrid, but once you’ve come to terms with that truth, you will then be able to heal that wound and recover. Each of us has a different form a security and each of us has a different healing period, but it is our responsibility to go through that process.

As of right now I’d say that I know a few things that are holding me back from my true potential, but now that I am aware of what needs to be addressed I can learn how to handle the situations that may come to test me. I know for a fact I still have a ways to go in my personal journey, but I truly believe that as long as I keep “doin me” and staying true to myself that each day will become easier and the things that would have once broken me can now be channeled in a positive way.

Katt Williams once said, “Take care of your star player”. The star player is you because at the end of the day you are all you got so take care of yourself.

As always thanks for stopping bye! Until next time.