Blog, Coffee & Conversations, comedy, Relationships

Let’s Talk – Is It Worth It? Let Me Work It!

Ok ladies let’s talk about it. You’re with bae or that “special” friend or a new conquest and y’all start getting frisky. Cloths have come off and you’ve done your part to get him aroused and ready to go. You think to yourself, yeah it’s about to go down, he’s been talkin hella shit, I can’t wait. As things progress you notice more and more that you aren’t getting anywhere near your peak and you start to get annoyed. Alright buddy what’s really going on here because you made it seem like you were about to turn my life upside down, yet, here I am wondering what the hell I’m doing here.


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How many of us can relate? How many of us are still dealing with it, only because he captured our heart before our panties? How many of us can say that it is down right disrespectful for the “man” to always get his whilst leaving us hanging and wanting for more? The tragedy in this is a lot of the time the guy doesn’t even realize that he is garbage in bed and we, the females, are too nice or too in love to tell him “you’re trash”second

Look fellas, I get it, sometimes you can’t control that “bust”, but damn think of ya girl in all this. If ya man-man can’t finish the job, another body part can. What that mouth do? Grab her secret soldier out of the drawer and use that as a fill in while you play with her bits. FIGURE IT OUT!

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What that mouth do?

She is trying really, Really, REALLY hard not to step out on you because she cares about your feelings, but let’s face it, not every woman is willing or able to be that strong. If you see her going out of her way to buy new toys, lubes and outfits to spice it up or she is doing everything in her power to resuscitate your clearly dead worm, it’s time to take additional measures.

Don’t be ashamed to look into the well known blue pill. Be ashamed that you can’t please your woman because, believe me, she’s telling her girlfriends all about it. That look of pity or amusement you catch from them from time to time could very well be correlated to her account of her misery.

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So my sistahs, do yourself  a favor and either tell your man pipe up, nigga pipe up, get him a prescription for Viagra, or make him eat out your soul because ummmm yeah. None of us have time to be accepting mediocre D and a lack of arousal. Women in other countries shame their husbands when he can’t hold it down, so he better come with it.

 

That’s all I had for you today. I hope you enjoyed the read.

Until next time!

 

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Coffee & Conversations, comedy, Podcast, Social Issues, Why Though

Let’s Talk – Kanye West Be Trippin!

Ok. So Kanye West has been getting a bad rep for his recent ideas and outbursts. After watching the full interview with him and Charlemagne the God, I have a new found understanding on how he thinks and delivers his ideologies and/or truths. He’s not crazy, but he doesn’t consider that throwing his ideas out of context rubs people the wrong way and causes backlash that he doesn’t intend.
Click here to listen on my latest episode of Roadway Rant on Anchor.fm or on Libsyn.com
Blog, Coffee & Conversations, comedy, motivational

Let’s Talk – Springtime and Sundresses

Spring has finally decided to kick winter out of here and show her beautiful face. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that springtime comes with a lot of rain and some chilly days, however, that only means that summer is that much closer. With spring the sun appears more, blossoms begin to sprout and bugs come out to terrorize us. Each sign of spring only gives me hope for the warmer months to come. With the promise of warmth and sunshine, also comes the promise of shorts, skirts, and sundresses.

Today it is raining, but for the first time in months, I am not depressed about it. I look forward to the April showers because I know that those may flowers will bloom and bring joy to so many who have been forced to wear parkas, thick gloves and boots for so long. As much as I love sweater weather, I love summer dress season even more! BRING ON THE ROMPERS too lol. Rompers and sun dresses is all I can think about. I can’t wait to be hot and sweaty begging for AC. I want to walk a sandy shore with my sandals in my hands basking in the sunlight. It has been a long time coming and I know there are a slew of us just waiting for a reason to get as close to naked as possible.

Although I am excited to show more skin, I’m also terrified at the thought of others showing a bit too much. I feel bad about it but we’ve all seen the ones who do not know how to dress for the summer for their body. LORD BE WITH US. For we will see things that will break our moral back and tempt us to point a finger and laugh, or worse, gag. Lord you know where we fall short, and you know how short short can be. Guide our unfortunately shaped friends in Walmart, K-mart, and Target. Show them what works for them and what will accomplish light summer wear without killing folks. Keep us, weak mouthed individuals, in your sight for when we see the unsightly we will need your grace, AMEN.

You feel me? I just know that even with that prayer, big Bertha is gonna put on those shorts that have no room for her gut and cut wayyy to low. I’ll be forced to roast her and I don’t want to do that, but I know me, and I am weak in this area. Please, if you are going to be bold, have somebody with you to say “yay” or “nay”. I like that you feel emboldened, but that doesn’t mean you are safe from the roast. None of us are really, but some targets are easier to spot than others.

Anyhow, this last week I went shopping at Goodwill and found some cute spring/summer wear. Don’t sleep on goodwill now. I know some of you see like goodwill? Ummmmm ill pass. Well you could be passing up a bargain. I won’t lie, sometimes you really have to hunt, but when you find something name brand for a fraction of the retail price, you must buy.

Here’s what I got. . .

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Ya girl is hype! I need a few more pieces to really feel ready for the season but i love my finds so far. Each dress was under $10 and since I work at Goodwill I saved a little bit more on top of that. So as you can see you can get cute things for cheap from your local goodwill or other thrift store.

The next thing that I need to do is get in the gym or find workouts to do at home. Right now I’m at an okay weight, but I’m soft and I can’t go into summer this year jiggly. I favorited the youtuber The BKbooty and have saved about 2-3 workouts that will help sculpt my buns and tone my gut. Everything that I need. I’m not worried about my arms because as long as I have to comb my hair, I’ll be fine. Another source of motivation was seeing a picture of a runway model who was built for swimwear. When I saw it I said to myself, “enough is enough, you must start toning up”. So hopefully I stick to the plan and not cheat by eating fatty snacks and baby backs.

So whether you’re out shopping for new outfits or getting that body right, make sure you’re not out here looking crazy. Find the things that work for you and make you feel good. If you have a fitness goal before summer touches down, get to it because summer will be here before we know it, even with winter still lingering around.

Lets get ready for spring and let’s meet it in style lol.

Thanks for reading….until next time!

comedy, Uncategorized

Let’s Talk – Wash Day Dread

For all of my natural sistahs out there, you know what wash day dread is. It’s that onset anxiety we get when we know its about that time to take down the protective style and wash our hair. For my straight and loose curled friends, this will be a good opportunity to see the struggle of that of a kinky haired girl.

Lawd have mercy, I don’t know if I’m ready for this. I literally have to come up with a game plan when it comes to tackling my hair. I’m not saying that I can’t do a quick wash and then leave, but if I want to be able to do my hair completely later I might as well knock it all out at once. Typically for us kinky curly girls, we have to set aside a whole day to commemorate washing. There is prep work, the actual act of washing and de-tangling, making sure to de-tangle as you go, and post work.

Don’t worry silky Susan, the prep work isn’t as complex as inferred. Prep work is simply getting your hair ready for shampooing/conditioning. Some people like to plait they’re hair, or in other words they braid/twist the hair in large sections. This helps to ensure that your hair is already untangled before hitting the water which will make the entire process much easier and keep it from kinking back up. Another method is to apply leave in or an oil based product to first de-tangle then shampoo. Then there’s those that live on the edge and just hop into the shower and make it work. I, my friend, am a fantastic combination of all three. Now for the ultra naturalista, do not panic. I already know that skipping the first two steps leads to breakage and stress on the hair ans wah wah wah. It’s cool I still have growth retention.

Because there are different levels of nappage, there are going to be different ways in which a person washes their hair. I know some can do the pull method. They stand under the faucet and drag the shampoo through the hair and massaging the scalp. I can’t do that, pssshhhh, right. A good portion of us 4C girls use the twist in sections method. This allows us to target the scalp area. Our ENEMY. Since our hair is so thick, dense, and resistant to water intake, we generally focus on getting rid of built up product from our scalp and hair. This doesn’t require heavy scrubbing or large amounts of shampoo. Our hair type loves a good co-wash or hot water rinse. Done both! Having the hair braided or twisted reduces the amount of time taken to re-comb our hair and allows us to clean what’s important.

Once we have the hair washed, conditioned and towel dried/blow dried, we proceed into the post wash. MOISTURIZING. For me the easiest way to do this without being overly tired is through the L.O.C. method. L.O.C. stands for liquid-oil-creme. so while my hair is still wet I get an oil of choice and apply roughly throughout my hair. Those pre-made sections will come in handy here. From there I proceed with the style I have in mind. With each section I apply the necessary amount of leave in conditioner and creme moisturizer. I found that if I do it this way, it seems less of a chore and more like a normal persons routine. I could do all my moisturizing first then style, but my brain automatically thinks “Dis too much”. Depending on how intricate the hairdo is, the longer it will take.

If you have ever wondered why it is taking Karmela so long to change her hairstyle, it is probably because she has “Wash Day Dread”. I should declare this to be a serious condition amongst those of us with the rubber band tight curls. It’s an epidemic! Hahahaha, but no, this is what we go through. Don’t touch our hair because you will speed up the timeline for the next wash day, and we can’t have that!!!!

Until next time! Thanks for dropping in! Like, Comment, Share!