Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Life Can Be A Hater

It never fails. You’ve started to take action on some of your interests. Job is going well, you’re feeling confident about progress you’ve made in getting “your shit together” and you feel positive about the route you’re taking then BOOM, disaster strikes. All of your hard work and motivation is slashed by a series of unfortunate events and now you are back to square one.

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What is it about getting ahead in life that triggers those moments of backpeddling? Why can’t life see that you are making an effort to improve your current status in the world and give you a get out of jail free card? What usually ends up happening is we get dealt the “Go straight to jail! Do not pass go do not collect $200.” Card from the “chance” pile. Life must be sitting back waiting for us to get a good momentum started and at the perfect moment throws a branch under our roller skates.

Life can suck a duck if you catch my drift.

Okay, so life can be a major and unapologetic BITCH, but we can still push our way forward. Take it from me, I got dealt some crap here recently but it’s okay. Just because things don’t work out perfectly in your favor doesn’t mean you have to curl up and die. There are plenty of success stories that start out in a sprint and they hit a brick wall. From there tragedies these people may go through a bit of a rut, but eventually come back better than they did before. Think about Will Smith, Keanu Reeves, and Robert Downy Junior. Think of Oprah, Meryl Streep, and Lady Gaga. This is a tiny handful of entertainers who have hit walls and have managed to become some of our favorite idols.

Sometimes when life seems to be shitting on us all at once, it’s just karma making its rounds. Those lucky moments that we may get after a major “f” up is just life saying, “I’m gonna let that slide for now, but I will get mines later”.

Even when that is the case we should keep our heads up! We may go through a period of sadness, but we should always keep our goals in the back of our mind as to not completely give up. Each day will provide an opportunity of encouragement. A friend may remind you that they enjoyed or benefited from the things you were doing. Another person may ask you how things are going with those goals. You, yourself, will recall the joy that you received from following through with your dreams and little by little you will climb out of your “pit of despair” and put yourself back together.

Life can most definitely be a hater, but it also gives opportunities to prove that theory wrong and challenge you to do and be better.

So let’s get out that and stick it to life and show her that even if she tries to roast us, kick us while we’re down and distract us, we will overcome those setbacks and achieve our goals and conquer our dreams!

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Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – What’s Your End Game?

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine whom I often see at my job as a customer and we were discussing our end games. Initially when they asked me I didn’t really know what my end game was, but as I thought about it I knew that I wanted my end game to revolve around me doing what I loved and traveling the world. As of this year I have started to explore the desires and passions of my heart. I started my own podcast through anchor.fm and I started to blog, which I found to be very fulfilling as well. I know that in these areas I still have a ways to go before I am what they call ” a pro”, but I’m liking my adventure within it so far. My intent with podcasting and blogging is to have enough influence to gain the right amount of popularity to devote my full time to the craft.

I would also like to travel. My dream destinations include the Caribbean and other tropical locations such as Bali or the Virgin Islands. I love that I can say I was born in America, but there are times that I feel that this isn’t my final resting place. I do believe that I am meant to grow out of here and expand into the woman I know I can become.

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

– Andre Gide

I recently joined a company that provides services as well as business opportunities and on the way back from a conference I saw an RV park and said, “My dream is to get an RV and travel cross country”. Right then the driver says, “that’s exactly what I want to do to travel and expand my business”. Initially I didn’t think to do that. I just wanted to be able to travel without being tied to a lease agreement, but to be able to travel across country and making money on the go was a new and exciting addition to that goal.

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There are a lot of different ways the “end” could actually wind up, but if I put in the necessary work I should be able to network with like minded people who see the vision of all the many different avenues I see myself traveling down, I can have an ending that is satisfactory to me. On the way I want to be able to expand blogging into more in depth writing like books or journals. I want to be able to have a podcast widely sought after and subscribed to and I also want to reach and service those within my new venture in ways that will assist me in any other project I desire to invest in.

What’s most important about having an end game is the work that you put forth to getting there. Most of us know that in order to be highly successful sometimes you have to sacrifice the things that won’t contribute to our growth. This can be tough, especially if what we have to sacrifice includes loved ones. Loved ones mean well, but sometimes they can also be the very people to hold you back. As I pointed out in Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home, you have to take care of yourself first in order to help others. This simply means that you cannot meet the needs of your family before meeting the needs of your own passions and desires.

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So what’s your end game? What do you plan to do come retirement? Do you plan to have a cozy family home that you can grow old with? Do you want to travel the world? Or do you want to have a combination of the two?

I’d love to get your “end game” goals! Plus putting them into the universe can’t hurt either right? SPEAK IT INTO EXISTENCE!

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Staying Busy

Hey y’all whats up? I just had to make a post related to keeping your mind off of an ex or a stressful situation. I’m here to say that sometimes in order to keep your mind off of it you have to get busy or stay busy. You know that down time you are using to obsess over what can’t be fixed? You should use that time and energy on something that entertains you or brings you peace.

Do you enjoy reading? Pick up a new book and dive in. Do you like going on hikes and experiencing the outdoors? Set up a mini trip either by yourself or with friends. Do you like playing video games? Make a goal to reach a new level or improve your rank scores and get to it. These may not be at the top of your list of things to do, but I promise you, once you begin to take your mind off of your problems and focus on the things you enjoy doing, your mind will begin to recover and/or process a solution much faster.

Sometimes we want to dwell on our sorrow and anguish in the dreadfulness of it all. We want to feel all the feels and justify staying in that place by pointing out all the negative impacts it is having on us and our lives. This, however, is not going to actually solve anything, rather, it may make it worse because you are not putting in any energy toward a positive outcome. Just as evil begets evil so does negativity.

I won’t lie to you though. It is often much easier to wallow in the pit of despair than to climb out of it, but the reward is very much worth it. Put effort into your own peace. Put effort into your own happiness. At the end of the day, you will be the only person accountable for either, so make it count.

Personally I’ve decided that I can no longer apply brakes to my life for the sake of another. By doing so, you allow whoever or whatever to rob you of your own ambitions and momentum because you have slowed down in hopes that your desire will be fulfilled. My only insight on this matter is if you have to slow down for anything to fit into your life, it wasn’t meant to be there in the first place.

Be true to you and the goals you have set for yourself. Don’t allow the disappointments of life drag you down. If you find yourself distracted by these stresses, apply your time into the things that bring you joy and peace. Remember that at the end of the day you are worth more than your circumstances and there is more for you than you have ever imagined. Focus on positive energy. Distract your mind with activity meant to push you forward and encourage you. Surround yourself by things and people that help to bring out your inner light and never sway from your unique self.

Be empowered!

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home

I feel like I want to do something unquestionable. I feel as though I need to take a big step toward my future, but I’m not sure how I should go about doing it. I’ve always seen myself as an urbanista walking the streets of Brooklyn or even Maryland and absorbing all of the culture, drama and entertainment in ways that I can’t here in the Pacific Northwest. Don’t get me wrong, the Pacific Northwest has been very good to me. I love it’s beauty and the opportunities that it does provide to those living here educationally and economically. Even with that, I still feel like I need to travel and experience life beyond the ever-green state.

If I did leave Washington there would be a few things that I know I’d miss for sure. Those things include family, Pike Place Market, the beautiful landscape, and the minimum wage!

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I’m sure after a couple months, however, I would get used to my new surroundings and culture and begin exploring my new homeland. The biggest question I have for myself is where would I best fit in? I visited NY and absolutely loved it, but it can be kind of pricey. I’ve been to FL and the area is nice, but the humidity may be a deal breaker. I need to take a trip to DC/Maryland to get a feel for that part of the east coast to see how that treats me. I’ve even considered Arizona, though, not east coast, I have put that on my list of possible locations that I would move to.

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I know the best way to relocate is with proper planning and saving, but I find myself just wanting to pack up the little that I have and just leaving, figuring things out along the way. Is this a reckless idea? Possibly, but I can’t help but think that is the only way I will actually take charge of my destiny and do exactly what I want to do. As much as I love my family and my friends, as much as I love the scenery and different dynamics of Washington, I feel that I must take the path that best suits me. I want to go somewhere not just because it is a new place and its an opportunity to move. I want to move someplace I can see myself in; a place that I know I can grow and evolve in, on my own terms.

I feel that now more than ever I need to put my needs and wants before those that I love because at the end of the day, I can’t be who I want to be for them if I never let myself grow into that person. We may love our friends, our family, and our hometown, but there will come a time when you have to set those things aside in order for you to become the person you’d always dreamed you would be. As Iyanla Vanzant would say, it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself first, it’s self-full. She said that the way you treat yourself is the way you treat God. In order to serve God to the best of your abilities you must first be full.

My cup runneth over. What comes out of the cup is for y’all, whats in the cup is mine.

-Iyanla Vanzant

To see the clip of Iyanla click here.

So I think that over the next several months my plan will be to prepare for a big move. I will keep it hush until I’m certain and ready to make my journey. I’d like to be reckless and just go, but who am I kidding, I wanna show up move in ready lol. So I challenge all who reads this to put yourself first, make that risky move, go for what you want because in order to be your best you must treat yourself accordingly.

Until next time!