Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Staying Busy

Hey y’all whats up? I just had to make a post related to keeping your mind off of an ex or a stressful situation. I’m here to say that sometimes in order to keep your mind off of it you have to get busy or stay busy. You know that down time you are using to obsess over what can’t be fixed? You should use that time and energy on something that entertains you or brings you peace.

Do you enjoy reading? Pick up a new book and dive in. Do you like going on hikes and experiencing the outdoors? Set up a mini trip either by yourself or with friends. Do you like playing video games? Make a goal to reach a new level or improve your rank scores and get to it. These may not be at the top of your list of things to do, but I promise you, once you begin to take your mind off of your problems and focus on the things you enjoy doing, your mind will begin to recover and/or process a solution much faster.

Sometimes we want to dwell on our sorrow and anguish in the dreadfulness of it all. We want to feel all the feels and justify staying in that place by pointing out all the negative impacts it is having on us and our lives. This, however, is not going to actually solve anything, rather, it may make it worse because you are not putting in any energy toward a positive outcome. Just as evil begets evil so does negativity.

I won’t lie to you though. It is often much easier to wallow in the pit of despair than to climb out of it, but the reward is very much worth it. Put effort into your own peace. Put effort into your own happiness. At the end of the day, you will be the only person accountable for either, so make it count.

Personally I’ve decided that I can no longer apply brakes to my life for the sake of another. By doing so, you allow whoever or whatever to rob you of your own ambitions and momentum because you have slowed down in hopes that your desire will be fulfilled. My only insight on this matter is if you have to slow down for anything to fit into your life, it wasn’t meant to be there in the first place.

Be true to you and the goals you have set for yourself. Don’t allow the disappointments of life drag you down. If you find yourself distracted by these stresses, apply your time into the things that bring you joy and peace. Remember that at the end of the day you are worth more than your circumstances and there is more for you than you have ever imagined. Focus on positive energy. Distract your mind with activity meant to push you forward and encourage you. Surround yourself by things and people that help to bring out your inner light and never sway from your unique self.

Be empowered!

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home

I feel like I want to do something unquestionable. I feel as though I need to take a big step toward my future, but I’m not sure how I should go about doing it. I’ve always seen myself as an urbanista walking the streets of Brooklyn or even Maryland and absorbing all of the culture, drama and entertainment in ways that I can’t here in the Pacific Northwest. Don’t get me wrong, the Pacific Northwest has been very good to me. I love it’s beauty and the opportunities that it does provide to those living here educationally and economically. Even with that, I still feel like I need to travel and experience life beyond the ever-green state.

If I did leave Washington there would be a few things that I know I’d miss for sure. Those things include family, Pike Place Market, the beautiful landscape, and the minimum wage!

11889460_875449419168860_1758863158603822682_n   220px-view_seattle_pike_place_market_sign_summer_2010  20411430-seattle-skyline-sailboats-puget-sound-cascade-mountains-washington-state-pacific-northwest

I’m sure after a couple months, however, I would get used to my new surroundings and culture and begin exploring my new homeland. The biggest question I have for myself is where would I best fit in? I visited NY and absolutely loved it, but it can be kind of pricey. I’ve been to FL and the area is nice, but the humidity may be a deal breaker. I need to take a trip to DC/Maryland to get a feel for that part of the east coast to see how that treats me. I’ve even considered Arizona, though, not east coast, I have put that on my list of possible locations that I would move to.

empire-state-building                    maryland-collageazill-aztrail

I know the best way to relocate is with proper planning and saving, but I find myself just wanting to pack up the little that I have and just leaving, figuring things out along the way. Is this a reckless idea? Possibly, but I can’t help but think that is the only way I will actually take charge of my destiny and do exactly what I want to do. As much as I love my family and my friends, as much as I love the scenery and different dynamics of Washington, I feel that I must take the path that best suits me. I want to go somewhere not just because it is a new place and its an opportunity to move. I want to move someplace I can see myself in; a place that I know I can grow and evolve in, on my own terms.

I feel that now more than ever I need to put my needs and wants before those that I love because at the end of the day, I can’t be who I want to be for them if I never let myself grow into that person. We may love our friends, our family, and our hometown, but there will come a time when you have to set those things aside in order for you to become the person you’d always dreamed you would be. As Iyanla Vanzant would say, it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself first, it’s self-full. She said that the way you treat yourself is the way you treat God. In order to serve God to the best of your abilities you must first be full.

My cup runneth over. What comes out of the cup is for y’all, whats in the cup is mine.

-Iyanla Vanzant

To see the clip of Iyanla click here.

So I think that over the next several months my plan will be to prepare for a big move. I will keep it hush until I’m certain and ready to make my journey. I’d like to be reckless and just go, but who am I kidding, I wanna show up move in ready lol. So I challenge all who reads this to put yourself first, make that risky move, go for what you want because in order to be your best you must treat yourself accordingly.

Until next time!

Coffee & Conversations, Poem, relaxation, self improvement

Let’s Talk – I Am Who I Am

I am more than just a late night tour. I am more than the subtle warmth between the sheets. I am more than the small talk via text message. I am more than the unclear answers I receive to a specific question. I am more than the figure at the door. I am more than the struggling smile fighting back tears. I am more than a face. I am more than a body. I am more than a security blanket. I am more than the time on the clock. 

I am a person with feeling. Vibrant and dynamic I shine through overcast. I am joyful and laughter is my elixir. I am peace within, speaking to the inner power that dwells building its confidence. I am light like India Arie, spreading it as far as it will reach.

I am no longer giving in to pain. I am no longer feeding self doubt. I am no longer allowing my light to be dimmed. I am no longer passively letting my heart be broken. I am no longer tolerant of tyrants. I am no longer allowing my kindness to be mistaken for weakness.

I am who I am, so take it or leave it.

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, Poem, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Lost Poems: “Ivy”

IVY

The road is long and feeling a bit weary

I look at the distance I’ve traveled and it makes me queasy.

How have I come so far still have so far to go?

Where am I going? Is there a point to this journey? I need to know.

I’m frustrated and I’m feeling a bit deflated.

I see my peers living the life, looking like they made it.

What classes should I sign up for, because they clearly have something I don’t.

They’re achieving more!

“Keep moving”, a voice says.

“Don’t let what they’re doing over there get in your head”.

This voice sounds like me, but how can that be?

How can I be sure that these thoughts aren’t plagues?

A hole has formed and my ankles are wrapped up in ivy as if it were an ivy storm.

Again I hear me. “Keep moving or become a fixture of pity, you have been warned.” 

 

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Stay True To Self

I’m pretty confident that most people know what it means when the phrase “I’m doin me” is said. However, if you don’t know, it simply means that you are putting time and energy into the things you want to do. It means that you are putting yourself and your needs first. In most cases this is a single person statement. Singles like to use it to make the statement that at the end of the day they don’t depend on another person to enjoy life. It also means that a single person is free to flirt and talk to whomever they please. As much as I relate to the single person mindset of “doin me” I also think it weighs heavily on staying true to yourself.

“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.”

– Julius Charles Hare

I know that, personally, I have more growth to do, but I also know that the growth I anticipate won’t come from remaining in the same place. Once I tune into my true self and begin to recognize my true self, I can then start to analyze certain characteristics that can be edited or deleted if need be. As you dig into to self and begin discovering new parts of yourself you will realize that some of your bad habits or actions aren’t a true reflection of who it is you are, but rather the outer shell you have created in order to protect yourself from discomfort or pain.

Sometimes the shell we hide behind gets so thick and hardened we think that it is who we are and there is no coming or going back. Yes, it is true that if you do not take the time to “do you” and discover you in the process, those walls, fences, bridges, and whatever other fixture you have subconsciously put up will be very difficult to tear down. Tearing down the security wall forces you to face your ugly truths. When I say they are no fun to face, believe me, they are horrid, but once you’ve come to terms with that truth, you will then be able to heal that wound and recover. Each of us has a different form a security and each of us has a different healing period, but it is our responsibility to go through that process.

As of right now I’d say that I know a few things that are holding me back from my true potential, but now that I am aware of what needs to be addressed I can learn how to handle the situations that may come to test me. I know for a fact I still have a ways to go in my personal journey, but I truly believe that as long as I keep “doin me” and staying true to myself that each day will become easier and the things that would have once broken me can now be channeled in a positive way.

Katt Williams once said, “Take care of your star player”. The star player is you because at the end of the day you are all you got so take care of yourself.

As always thanks for stopping bye! Until next time.

Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Noise

There is nothing more important to me than having peace in my life. Sometimes, life shows you that your plans for consistent calmness and serenity is unrealistic. Although the goal is to have complete peace, we still have to go through periods of noise. Noise can disrupt your thought process and distract you from what it is you are doing. Noise can also impact your physical health. This describes the literal factors of noise, but it can also be theoretical.

Sometimes we have noise within our personal lives. Sometimes those around us, that we assumed would bring some peace into our life, turn out to bring a lot of noise into our life. There are going to be times when the noise comes from people you don’t have strong ties with, but then there are times that it will come from those that you considered to be a solid pillar. Those particular ones will surprise you and have you a little shell shocked, but it will all prove to be for the best.

It is baffling how many of us allow noise to clutter our lives. We will put in our theoretical headphones to muffle the noise, but eventually we will have to remove the headphones and the sound will break through our mental once again. Noise cannot be ignored. It can only be addressed. You can work to turn the noise down to a level you are willing to tolerate, ,or you are going to turn the noise off. In order to turn off the noise, you may have to cut somebody off. This can be rough, to say the least. It’s not easy cutting people out of your life. Shoot, it’s not easy being the one getting cut off either. But at the end of the day it may be just what both sides needed.

Noise, in its forms, can completely disrupt our life. The utter loudness of it can debilitate us to the point of breakdown. If you are familiar with hip hop culture you may have heard the phrase “cut the noise”, which I interpret to mean that the energy you are bringing is toxic/a load of crap and we can’t have that. That’s exactly how I think noise should be treated. Hey look you’re toxic, or this is toxic, I’m going to have to get rid of this because it isn’t doing me any favors. 

It is a part of my new years resolution to level-up my life. As much as I want to hold on to certain things or people, I find that they are giving off a lot of noise. I can try to resolve the issue or reduce the amount of noise given off, but when that doesn’t work, you have to cancel the noise, move on and reclaim your peace.

I would love to hear your feedback about noise you’ve had to address and how that impacted your life afterwards. Please comment/like and Let’s Talk.

Thanks for stopping by, until next time….

via Daily Prompt: Noise

motivational

Let’s Talk – Fear: The Silent Killer

The last few days I have been faced with self evaluation. I’ve discovered that I have been holding myself back due to fear. FEAR! This thing is a horrible thing and it can be passed on to others. Fear is contagious so be careful on how you allow it to affect you. Fear, the debilitating reaction we can have. Well this can prevent us from evading danger if there is too much of it and it can also keep us from reaching our potential in life.

I know that I’m not the only one to have kept themselves back. I can think of a couple times that I turned down opportunities due to fear. The fear wasn’t specific to the fear of failure, but rather, it was fear of hurting or disappointing others. This was a major fault for me to realize. It hurts when you have to come to terms with your own bad choices. Aside from the fear to go for it, fear can interfere with relationships.

Relationships can be hard to develop when you are not brave enough to open up completely to your significant other. It is important to express the things that you’re unsure of in order to reduce the chance of letting anxiety push away the ones you love. Fear can also prevent you from making the necessary moves you need to make to level up. You know that for things to go to the next level of your relationship you are going to have to make some changes. Fear can keep you trapped in your comfort zone, killing the momentum you need to prepare for the level up. Fear can also have you running away from what you’ve been praying for. That’s me! It came and I didn’t know what to do with it. I think I was in shock like, naaaaw, this is waaaay to good to be true. Thus, overreacting and potentially ruining your only chance at true love forever. If you are religious, it can also come in between you and your relationship with your almighty.

I recently came to terms with the fact that I allowed fear, in one of its forms, to keep me from continuing my relationship with mine. I allowed myself to be affected by the hypocrisy of those within the church. It made it difficult for me to believe in something that has been shown to be of multiple sources and not a single culmination. I had seen other history related stories that seem to debunk the bible as an original work. However, I also believe that the majority of religions have a common theme. To exude love as you wish to receive it. Peace within that shines throughout tends to resonate among the theologies of faith. As I started to listen to some gospel music, it slapped me in the face. It was then that I realized that I needed to be accountable and make a decision. To believe is a choice. Whomever you choose, you were given the right to choose them. Mine made it clear that it would not be forced upon us. It is us that has to decide if we will believe in that walk or not.

What an amazing discovery. Now I have to decide whether or not I am going to commit to that walk. I know that my answer is yes, but I am concerned that my ability to ignore the opinions of others will be my hindrance. Again, fear poking out its lovely head to remind me that it hasn’t gone anywhere.

**Fear, oh fear how you annoy me so. You take over my bodily functions making me scared froze. I thought that I had conquered you way back when. Yet, here you are giving me grief again. Holding me back from the things I want. Lying to me saying, “you’ll never make it to the top”. It’s okay because my peace within keeps me clear. Even if I become scared I have an almighty friend near. So fear, you can leave me alone. For you make me aware, but you don’t make me strong.**