Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – What’s Your End Game?

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine whom I often see at my job as a customer and we were discussing our end games. Initially when they asked me I didn’t really know what my end game was, but as I thought about it I knew that I wanted my end game to revolve around me doing what I loved and traveling the world. As of this year I have started to explore the desires and passions of my heart. I started my own podcast through anchor.fm and I started to blog, which I found to be very fulfilling as well. I know that in these areas I still have a ways to go before I am what they call ” a pro”, but I’m liking my adventure within it so far. My intent with podcasting and blogging is to have enough influence to gain the right amount of popularity to devote my full time to the craft.

I would also like to travel. My dream destinations include the Caribbean and other tropical locations such as Bali or the Virgin Islands. I love that I can say I was born in America, but there are times that I feel that this isn’t my final resting place. I do believe that I am meant to grow out of here and expand into the woman I know I can become.

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

– Andre Gide

I recently joined a company that provides services as well as business opportunities and on the way back from a conference I saw an RV park and said, “My dream is to get an RV and travel cross country”. Right then the driver says, “that’s exactly what I want to do to travel and expand my business”. Initially I didn’t think to do that. I just wanted to be able to travel without being tied to a lease agreement, but to be able to travel across country and making money on the go was a new and exciting addition to that goal.

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There are a lot of different ways the “end” could actually wind up, but if I put in the necessary work I should be able to network with like minded people who see the vision of all the many different avenues I see myself traveling down, I can have an ending that is satisfactory to me. On the way I want to be able to expand blogging into more in depth writing like books or journals. I want to be able to have a podcast widely sought after and subscribed to and I also want to reach and service those within my new venture in ways that will assist me in any other project I desire to invest in.

What’s most important about having an end game is the work that you put forth to getting there. Most of us know that in order to be highly successful sometimes you have to sacrifice the things that won’t contribute to our growth. This can be tough, especially if what we have to sacrifice includes loved ones. Loved ones mean well, but sometimes they can also be the very people to hold you back. As I pointed out in Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home, you have to take care of yourself first in order to help others. This simply means that you cannot meet the needs of your family before meeting the needs of your own passions and desires.

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So what’s your end game? What do you plan to do come retirement? Do you plan to have a cozy family home that you can grow old with? Do you want to travel the world? Or do you want to have a combination of the two?

I’d love to get your “end game” goals! Plus putting them into the universe can’t hurt either right? SPEAK IT INTO EXISTENCE!

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, comedy, Relationships

Let’s Talk – Is It Worth It? Let Me Work It!

Ok ladies let’s talk about it. You’re with bae or that “special” friend or a new conquest and y’all start getting frisky. Cloths have come off and you’ve done your part to get him aroused and ready to go. You think to yourself, yeah it’s about to go down, he’s been talkin hella shit, I can’t wait. As things progress you notice more and more that you aren’t getting anywhere near your peak and you start to get annoyed. Alright buddy what’s really going on here because you made it seem like you were about to turn my life upside down, yet, here I am wondering what the hell I’m doing here.


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How many of us can relate? How many of us are still dealing with it, only because he captured our heart before our panties? How many of us can say that it is down right disrespectful for the “man” to always get his whilst leaving us hanging and wanting for more? The tragedy in this is a lot of the time the guy doesn’t even realize that he is garbage in bed and we, the females, are too nice or too in love to tell him “you’re trash”second

Look fellas, I get it, sometimes you can’t control that “bust”, but damn think of ya girl in all this. If ya man-man can’t finish the job, another body part can. What that mouth do? Grab her secret soldier out of the drawer and use that as a fill in while you play with her bits. FIGURE IT OUT!

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What that mouth do?

She is trying really, Really, REALLY hard not to step out on you because she cares about your feelings, but let’s face it, not every woman is willing or able to be that strong. If you see her going out of her way to buy new toys, lubes and outfits to spice it up or she is doing everything in her power to resuscitate your clearly dead worm, it’s time to take additional measures.

Don’t be ashamed to look into the well known blue pill. Be ashamed that you can’t please your woman because, believe me, she’s telling her girlfriends all about it. That look of pity or amusement you catch from them from time to time could very well be correlated to her account of her misery.

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So my sistahs, do yourself  a favor and either tell your man pipe up, nigga pipe up, get him a prescription for Viagra, or make him eat out your soul because ummmm yeah. None of us have time to be accepting mediocre D and a lack of arousal. Women in other countries shame their husbands when he can’t hold it down, so he better come with it.

 

That’s all I had for you today. I hope you enjoyed the read.

Until next time!

 

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home

I feel like I want to do something unquestionable. I feel as though I need to take a big step toward my future, but I’m not sure how I should go about doing it. I’ve always seen myself as an urbanista walking the streets of Brooklyn or even Maryland and absorbing all of the culture, drama and entertainment in ways that I can’t here in the Pacific Northwest. Don’t get me wrong, the Pacific Northwest has been very good to me. I love it’s beauty and the opportunities that it does provide to those living here educationally and economically. Even with that, I still feel like I need to travel and experience life beyond the ever-green state.

If I did leave Washington there would be a few things that I know I’d miss for sure. Those things include family, Pike Place Market, the beautiful landscape, and the minimum wage!

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I’m sure after a couple months, however, I would get used to my new surroundings and culture and begin exploring my new homeland. The biggest question I have for myself is where would I best fit in? I visited NY and absolutely loved it, but it can be kind of pricey. I’ve been to FL and the area is nice, but the humidity may be a deal breaker. I need to take a trip to DC/Maryland to get a feel for that part of the east coast to see how that treats me. I’ve even considered Arizona, though, not east coast, I have put that on my list of possible locations that I would move to.

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I know the best way to relocate is with proper planning and saving, but I find myself just wanting to pack up the little that I have and just leaving, figuring things out along the way. Is this a reckless idea? Possibly, but I can’t help but think that is the only way I will actually take charge of my destiny and do exactly what I want to do. As much as I love my family and my friends, as much as I love the scenery and different dynamics of Washington, I feel that I must take the path that best suits me. I want to go somewhere not just because it is a new place and its an opportunity to move. I want to move someplace I can see myself in; a place that I know I can grow and evolve in, on my own terms.

I feel that now more than ever I need to put my needs and wants before those that I love because at the end of the day, I can’t be who I want to be for them if I never let myself grow into that person. We may love our friends, our family, and our hometown, but there will come a time when you have to set those things aside in order for you to become the person you’d always dreamed you would be. As Iyanla Vanzant would say, it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself first, it’s self-full. She said that the way you treat yourself is the way you treat God. In order to serve God to the best of your abilities you must first be full.

My cup runneth over. What comes out of the cup is for y’all, whats in the cup is mine.

-Iyanla Vanzant

To see the clip of Iyanla click here.

So I think that over the next several months my plan will be to prepare for a big move. I will keep it hush until I’m certain and ready to make my journey. I’d like to be reckless and just go, but who am I kidding, I wanna show up move in ready lol. So I challenge all who reads this to put yourself first, make that risky move, go for what you want because in order to be your best you must treat yourself accordingly.

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, Relationships, self improvement

Let’s Talk – He Ain’t The One Sis

Don’t you hate it when you find yourself wasting your time on someone you thought was “the one”? Yeah I think most of us have been there at least once in our lives. Here comes this handsome, charming, what we think is a man, and he gives us all the feels but he is lacking that extra most important ingredient. He is missing that key piece of maturity called commitment. For some reason committing is a word he is allergic too. He doesn’t want you to know this so instead he will lie, act, and play on your emotions to hide the fact that he simply doesn’t want to commit to you. These guys will either jump into a relationship with you and never really do anything to grow into the relationship, or you’ll have the one who clearly appears to like you and enjoys being around you, but will refuse to lock you down.

The hardest part with dealing with this type of guy is that we, the ones dealing with him, have a hard time letting go. We know deep down that he is stringing us along, but we just have to see if, by some miracle, he will realize that we are the best thing to have ever come into his life. It’s almost like a drug. We get so high off of the idea of our ever after with our dream guy and lose all sense of reality or logical thought. We hold on to that dream until we are completely drained and exhausted from trying to keep it alive. I think that it is important to remember that we are very valuable creatures. We offer more than just comfort and ease, we offer the joys in life like starting a family, supporting our husbands and planning for a bigger future. We simply get caught in the trap of a swindler. Someone who takes advantage of our kind disposition and willingness to support and uplift. No more!

I think that for those dealing with a boyfriend who continues to give empty promises, it’s time to wake up. For those holding on to the dream that he will see you for the woman you are, it’s time to wake up. For those that are waiting for the perfect guy to see the inner beauty within, it’s time to wake up. We can no longer pretend that there is a perfect guy, and we can no longer ignore the signs that the person we want isn’t putting in equal effort to make sure they are who they need to be for us. It is time to set a higher bar, a higher standard, a higher sense of self. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy what it is that we want and expect. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy that he may be an adult but he isn’t a grown man. We don’t have to feel bad for finally standing up for ourselves and our hearts. We are the prize at the end of the day, so if he can’t or won’t step up to the plate of a grown man, he needs to go back to the dugout so another man can step up to bat.

Sometimes being alone is not the end of the world, but rather, the beginning of the journey you were supposed to be on all along. Loneliness can trick us into thinking that we need to be in a romantic relationship, when in reality, it can simply mean that we need to venture out and connect with like minded and spirited people. We can be single and still experience all the joy that life has to offer. Being in a relationship is a blessing, however, forcing one can curse your life.

I used the word “we” a lot because, like a pastor would say, as I preach to you I also preach to myself. It isn’t fair to hold on to something that isn’t helping you grow beyond yourself. Why try forcing something that should just be? Why stress over someone who isn’t stressed about you? Why care if they are on hard times when they turn down opportunities to turn it around? No longer! No longer should we waist our time or our value. I believe that these guys I speak of can still be our friends, but only to an extent. They must know that there are now boundaries to how close they can get to us. They must appreciate that we have chosen to love ourselves more than the idea of love. If that guy truly ever cared for you he will understand and respect your decision and you will know that you had a friend in that person, no more and no less. If the guy tries to turn it around on you, get rid of him and never look back, for that person only cares about themselves and was never a friend.

It can be hard to let go of what you thought was a good thing, but in the end, you will be all the better and stronger for it. Keep in mind that if your soul isn’t being fed you may never truly feel happy, yet you will always be searching for something that may not exist. Continue to love, continue to grow, and continue to evolve. The person that you are meant to be with will likely add to, not take away from those things and you will know the difference. If that person never comes along for you, don’t fret, for you may have the gift of exploration. You will be free to do great things and reach many without losing self and gaining all that you desire. Stay focused on the things that bring joy to your life and be kind to all.

It’s 2018, let’s leave all the grown man babies behind and takeoff into the land of maturity and growth!

 

Coffee & Conversations, Poem, relaxation, self improvement

Let’s Talk – I Am Who I Am

I am more than just a late night tour. I am more than the subtle warmth between the sheets. I am more than the small talk via text message. I am more than the unclear answers I receive to a specific question. I am more than the figure at the door. I am more than the struggling smile fighting back tears. I am more than a face. I am more than a body. I am more than a security blanket. I am more than the time on the clock. 

I am a person with feeling. Vibrant and dynamic I shine through overcast. I am joyful and laughter is my elixir. I am peace within, speaking to the inner power that dwells building its confidence. I am light like India Arie, spreading it as far as it will reach.

I am no longer giving in to pain. I am no longer feeding self doubt. I am no longer allowing my light to be dimmed. I am no longer passively letting my heart be broken. I am no longer tolerant of tyrants. I am no longer allowing my kindness to be mistaken for weakness.

I am who I am, so take it or leave it.

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Stay True To Self

I’m pretty confident that most people know what it means when the phrase “I’m doin me” is said. However, if you don’t know, it simply means that you are putting time and energy into the things you want to do. It means that you are putting yourself and your needs first. In most cases this is a single person statement. Singles like to use it to make the statement that at the end of the day they don’t depend on another person to enjoy life. It also means that a single person is free to flirt and talk to whomever they please. As much as I relate to the single person mindset of “doin me” I also think it weighs heavily on staying true to yourself.

“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.”

– Julius Charles Hare

I know that, personally, I have more growth to do, but I also know that the growth I anticipate won’t come from remaining in the same place. Once I tune into my true self and begin to recognize my true self, I can then start to analyze certain characteristics that can be edited or deleted if need be. As you dig into to self and begin discovering new parts of yourself you will realize that some of your bad habits or actions aren’t a true reflection of who it is you are, but rather the outer shell you have created in order to protect yourself from discomfort or pain.

Sometimes the shell we hide behind gets so thick and hardened we think that it is who we are and there is no coming or going back. Yes, it is true that if you do not take the time to “do you” and discover you in the process, those walls, fences, bridges, and whatever other fixture you have subconsciously put up will be very difficult to tear down. Tearing down the security wall forces you to face your ugly truths. When I say they are no fun to face, believe me, they are horrid, but once you’ve come to terms with that truth, you will then be able to heal that wound and recover. Each of us has a different form a security and each of us has a different healing period, but it is our responsibility to go through that process.

As of right now I’d say that I know a few things that are holding me back from my true potential, but now that I am aware of what needs to be addressed I can learn how to handle the situations that may come to test me. I know for a fact I still have a ways to go in my personal journey, but I truly believe that as long as I keep “doin me” and staying true to myself that each day will become easier and the things that would have once broken me can now be channeled in a positive way.

Katt Williams once said, “Take care of your star player”. The star player is you because at the end of the day you are all you got so take care of yourself.

As always thanks for stopping bye! Until next time.

Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Noise

There is nothing more important to me than having peace in my life. Sometimes, life shows you that your plans for consistent calmness and serenity is unrealistic. Although the goal is to have complete peace, we still have to go through periods of noise. Noise can disrupt your thought process and distract you from what it is you are doing. Noise can also impact your physical health. This describes the literal factors of noise, but it can also be theoretical.

Sometimes we have noise within our personal lives. Sometimes those around us, that we assumed would bring some peace into our life, turn out to bring a lot of noise into our life. There are going to be times when the noise comes from people you don’t have strong ties with, but then there are times that it will come from those that you considered to be a solid pillar. Those particular ones will surprise you and have you a little shell shocked, but it will all prove to be for the best.

It is baffling how many of us allow noise to clutter our lives. We will put in our theoretical headphones to muffle the noise, but eventually we will have to remove the headphones and the sound will break through our mental once again. Noise cannot be ignored. It can only be addressed. You can work to turn the noise down to a level you are willing to tolerate, ,or you are going to turn the noise off. In order to turn off the noise, you may have to cut somebody off. This can be rough, to say the least. It’s not easy cutting people out of your life. Shoot, it’s not easy being the one getting cut off either. But at the end of the day it may be just what both sides needed.

Noise, in its forms, can completely disrupt our life. The utter loudness of it can debilitate us to the point of breakdown. If you are familiar with hip hop culture you may have heard the phrase “cut the noise”, which I interpret to mean that the energy you are bringing is toxic/a load of crap and we can’t have that. That’s exactly how I think noise should be treated. Hey look you’re toxic, or this is toxic, I’m going to have to get rid of this because it isn’t doing me any favors. 

It is a part of my new years resolution to level-up my life. As much as I want to hold on to certain things or people, I find that they are giving off a lot of noise. I can try to resolve the issue or reduce the amount of noise given off, but when that doesn’t work, you have to cancel the noise, move on and reclaim your peace.

I would love to hear your feedback about noise you’ve had to address and how that impacted your life afterwards. Please comment/like and Let’s Talk.

Thanks for stopping by, until next time….

via Daily Prompt: Noise