Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – I See The Light!

I think I’m finally starting to see the light! I’ve been in Florida for 4 months and despite hitting some brick walls, I think things are beginning to change for the better. 

As you may have seen in my last post, Let’s Talk – I Went Big, But Should I Go Home?, I recently moved to Florida, but I was wondering if I had made the right move and if I was going to make it here. Despite some of my doubts it was my goal to thrive in my new city. Finally, after a couple months of living the struggle, I can say that I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still in the tunnel, however, unlike the last month or so, I am now working at 2 jobs and I have a good feeling that both will suit me well.

Don’t force together Pieces that don’t fit – Picturequotes.com

It’s funny how when you’re working and taking care of your business, nothing seems impossible, but as soon as your job falls through and money isn’t coming in regularly your life starts to crumble right before your eyes. That’s how the last 2 months have been for me. The initial job I had when I first arrived was good for the moment, but seeing as that it was a sales job at 100% commission, I was becoming unsatisfied with my income and the work I was putting in for a lack of results. I ultimately quit the job and decided to look for full time work. This is when things took a turn.

Everyone knows the rule about if you are going to look for new work it is always best to do so while still at your current job. Not only is this good for the employers looking into you, but it also helps to continue bringing in some type of income in the mean time. I know this rule. I’ve lived by this rule, but this time I figured I’m barely making any money as it is and although I like talking to people and making connections, having a job completely commission based was NOT my cup of tea. Instead of working myself to death and having no time to consider other jobs, I decided to quit so that I could put my energy into the job hunt.

Here’s the good and the bad. 

The Good

  1. I was getting calls to come in for interviews or at least question my interest in the job.
  2. I received a couple offers to start relatively soon.
  3. Base pay included

The Bad

  1. The job repeated the same process as the one I had just left. “Ummmm, no thanks”.
  2. The amount of hours vs the pay rate wasn’t worth it. “So I’ll be making less than minimum wage with only 20 hrs/wk? Hahahaha, bye”.
  3. The start date was pushed out pretty far. “Great! I like the job description and the pay rate, now we wait”!

People with ropes around their necks don’t always hang! – Angel Eyes (Movie quote – The Good The Bad and The Ugly)

My first interview was with Florida Home Improvement. For some reason I thought I was going in for a customer service position. I can stay in the office and help people with improving the structure of their homes and get over minimum wage. I was excited to interview. Once seated with the interviewer I realize that it is practically identical to my last job with the exception of receiving some form of base pay. I hated the idea of spending my whole day walking neighborhoods seeking that 1 person to sign up for service. That’s a BIG no for me boss. I was bummed and I had to politely say, “Never mind, thank you for the opportunity”. So close!

Next I had interviews with both Starbucks and Panera Bread. I love coffee so you already know I was all the way down to work at Starbucks even at part time. I ROCKED that interview and was offered a job right then and there. I accepted. The bonus to that was that the base pay was higher than minimum wage. I loved that! My start date was a little ways out, but I had hope that I could snag a secondary job in no time.

I then went in to Panera. Similar to Starbucks, I received an offer not long after my intial and 2nd interview. I went to an orientation to begin as a delivery driver, however, forgetting that I’m riding dirty out here without insurance. Two things with delivery. First thing was that delivery drivers only receive base pay of a little over $5. I was disgusted at this (lol). To make matters worse, the position was going to be 20 hours or less. With that being said I advised the hiring manager that I wouldn’t be able to do delivery seeing as my insurance is expired. I left out that it was because the pay was insulting. I suggested we push my initial app for cashier through. From then they dragged on getting back in touch with me. By this time I had already decided I wouldn’t enjoy my time working for them and turned it down.

Here’s where the golden egg comes in. I got hired to work for ADT security full time with a starting pay that dookeyed all over my previous jobs. THIS IS IT!!!! The catch? I had to wait over a month to begin in November. Really hurtful, truly, but I knew that if I could hold out just a little longer that it would all be worth it. My judgement so far has been accurate because in about a week I will be able to be a contributing member of society once more and I can act like Ayanla and fix my life.

In just 2 months I have had to pray and borrow to cover basic needs, which is the hardest thing for me to do. Ask. Now if you offer something to me I will say yes, but if I have to humble myself and ask for assistance I’ll probably starve first. I’ve had loved ones get on me about this, but it is soooo hard to admit to those you respect that you are struggling and you need them to help you. It’s very important to have people you can call on, I just hate having to call.

Now that I am seeing things slowly pick back up, I can begin to breath a little easier with the light peering over the horizon. I can now plan and make arrangements to correct what has been wronged and rebuild the credit that has thus been destroyed from not having the means to make on-time payments. I’m thankful that I have a place to stay and a support system or I don’t know where I’d be right now. 

If you have people in your corner who will be there for you in times of struggle or complication, honor and appreciate them because some people are out here truly suffering because it is all on them. I can’t express enough how much those people mean to me, even if I don’t actively show it, they are what keeps me together. 

With the sights looking much brighter, I am excited to see how the road will continue and where I will end up. I hope to bring forth more positive news and energy and tell stories on new adventures, new friends, and new goals; new ideas, new content, and new business prospects. So far, everything is looking up and I can’t wait to tell you more about it!

Stay up my friends! The car don’t stop unless you stop driving!

Let’s keep pushing, keep moving, and keep that energy high, for that turning point is closer than you think!

 

Rise and Shine!
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Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – I Went Big, But Should I Go Home?

Remember when I made the post about traveling/relocating in Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home? Do you also remember when I said I wish I could just get up and go? Well guess what? Yup, you guessed it. I made the blind leap to up and leave. I’m currently in the big, I mean BIG, city of Jacksonville, FL and I must admit, I love it, however, I wish I would have committed sooner to the move and had money saved.

I was first given the chance to move down here several months ago from my cousin who’s husband was being stationed here in Jacksonville, but I allowed myself to doubt the transition and I backed out of it. Once again, fear made its mark and influenced my thoughts and decisions. As time grew nearer to the move and my gut kept telling me I was about to miss what looked like my best chance to leave, I panicked and made a last minute decision to go. This indeed was a huge gamble on my part. I had no place to go once arrived, no job, and only my car. I figured, hey people have done it before me, why can’t I? Pause for nervous laughter.

I had just enough money to make the road trip down with no real concept of what I would do after the fact. The lord must have truly been shining on me because my cousin, who also decided to come down, landed a house sit for 3 weeks upon arrival and extended the offer to me. I was so relieved that the home owners were so laid back and willing to allow me to stay and assist in the house sitting. Still, there is enough stress to kill a small horse. So far I’ve been blessed to have landed a job within the first 5 days of arrival and visited a couple prospective apartments within a realistic budget. Although things are looking up my anxiety couldn’t be higher. There are still some unresolved issues back home, I don’t yet have any income to put towards housing, the cousin who has helped me tremendously may now be depending on me to help in establishing residence within the next couple of weeks and again I’M BROKE. Jesus take the wheel!!!!

inspirational-quotes-let-your-faith-be-bigger-than-your-fears

With all that being said, I do rely on Jesus to get me over the hump of my doubts, fears,  and anxieties for the ensuing weeks. I know that even though times look dark the God above can create a way out of absolutely no way. Right now that is what I have to hold on to. My faith in that must be stronger than my anxieties and fears. IT HAS TO BE if I want to see this thing through. I wish I could have stuck to my earlier decision and not have wavered from it. Looking back I think that I was asked too many times if I was sure. The more someone asks me this question the more I begin to doubt if I should follow through or just make due with my current course, or that maybe they’re no longer sure of me going and now I’m no longer sure. Either way it goes I’m here now and I have to dig deep to make things run smoothly.

WHATEVER THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE

-NAPOLEON HILL

Motivationping.com

I just started reading a book entitled “What Should I Do With My Life?” and it states in the introduction that most of the time people are forced to tap into their true potential out of struggle vs. desire. While we are in a good situation we only state what it is that we want to do, but when we are in a position of hard times we tend to act on it. Now more than ever I can see that I HAVE to go big because the only other option would be to go home. Before coming down here it was definitely just a statement, but now it is my reality and my reality is that I do not want to go home. I would love to call Florida my new home, so that only leaves me with one option; GRIND GRIND GRIND WITHOUT CEASING!!!

This may be by far the scariest yet most fulfilling time of my life, so while I’m here I am going to make the most out of it and do what I have to do in order to see my goals come into fruition. There is no giving up! I have to go big or I have to go home and going home is not a part of my list of goals!!!

helenkeller1-2x

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – What’s Your End Game?

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine whom I often see at my job as a customer and we were discussing our end games. Initially when they asked me I didn’t really know what my end game was, but as I thought about it I knew that I wanted my end game to revolve around me doing what I loved and traveling the world. As of this year I have started to explore the desires and passions of my heart. I started my own podcast through anchor.fm and I started to blog, which I found to be very fulfilling as well. I know that in these areas I still have a ways to go before I am what they call ” a pro”, but I’m liking my adventure within it so far. My intent with podcasting and blogging is to have enough influence to gain the right amount of popularity to devote my full time to the craft.

I would also like to travel. My dream destinations include the Caribbean and other tropical locations such as Bali or the Virgin Islands. I love that I can say I was born in America, but there are times that I feel that this isn’t my final resting place. I do believe that I am meant to grow out of here and expand into the woman I know I can become.

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

– Andre Gide

I recently joined a company that provides services as well as business opportunities and on the way back from a conference I saw an RV park and said, “My dream is to get an RV and travel cross country”. Right then the driver says, “that’s exactly what I want to do to travel and expand my business”. Initially I didn’t think to do that. I just wanted to be able to travel without being tied to a lease agreement, but to be able to travel across country and making money on the go was a new and exciting addition to that goal.

camping-rv-775

There are a lot of different ways the “end” could actually wind up, but if I put in the necessary work I should be able to network with like minded people who see the vision of all the many different avenues I see myself traveling down, I can have an ending that is satisfactory to me. On the way I want to be able to expand blogging into more in depth writing like books or journals. I want to be able to have a podcast widely sought after and subscribed to and I also want to reach and service those within my new venture in ways that will assist me in any other project I desire to invest in.

What’s most important about having an end game is the work that you put forth to getting there. Most of us know that in order to be highly successful sometimes you have to sacrifice the things that won’t contribute to our growth. This can be tough, especially if what we have to sacrifice includes loved ones. Loved ones mean well, but sometimes they can also be the very people to hold you back. As I pointed out in Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home, you have to take care of yourself first in order to help others. This simply means that you cannot meet the needs of your family before meeting the needs of your own passions and desires.

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So what’s your end game? What do you plan to do come retirement? Do you plan to have a cozy family home that you can grow old with? Do you want to travel the world? Or do you want to have a combination of the two?

I’d love to get your “end game” goals! Plus putting them into the universe can’t hurt either right? SPEAK IT INTO EXISTENCE!

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Staying Busy

Hey y’all whats up? I just had to make a post related to keeping your mind off of an ex or a stressful situation. I’m here to say that sometimes in order to keep your mind off of it you have to get busy or stay busy. You know that down time you are using to obsess over what can’t be fixed? You should use that time and energy on something that entertains you or brings you peace.

Do you enjoy reading? Pick up a new book and dive in. Do you like going on hikes and experiencing the outdoors? Set up a mini trip either by yourself or with friends. Do you like playing video games? Make a goal to reach a new level or improve your rank scores and get to it. These may not be at the top of your list of things to do, but I promise you, once you begin to take your mind off of your problems and focus on the things you enjoy doing, your mind will begin to recover and/or process a solution much faster.

Sometimes we want to dwell on our sorrow and anguish in the dreadfulness of it all. We want to feel all the feels and justify staying in that place by pointing out all the negative impacts it is having on us and our lives. This, however, is not going to actually solve anything, rather, it may make it worse because you are not putting in any energy toward a positive outcome. Just as evil begets evil so does negativity.

I won’t lie to you though. It is often much easier to wallow in the pit of despair than to climb out of it, but the reward is very much worth it. Put effort into your own peace. Put effort into your own happiness. At the end of the day, you will be the only person accountable for either, so make it count.

Personally I’ve decided that I can no longer apply brakes to my life for the sake of another. By doing so, you allow whoever or whatever to rob you of your own ambitions and momentum because you have slowed down in hopes that your desire will be fulfilled. My only insight on this matter is if you have to slow down for anything to fit into your life, it wasn’t meant to be there in the first place.

Be true to you and the goals you have set for yourself. Don’t allow the disappointments of life drag you down. If you find yourself distracted by these stresses, apply your time into the things that bring you joy and peace. Remember that at the end of the day you are worth more than your circumstances and there is more for you than you have ever imagined. Focus on positive energy. Distract your mind with activity meant to push you forward and encourage you. Surround yourself by things and people that help to bring out your inner light and never sway from your unique self.

Be empowered!

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home

I feel like I want to do something unquestionable. I feel as though I need to take a big step toward my future, but I’m not sure how I should go about doing it. I’ve always seen myself as an urbanista walking the streets of Brooklyn or even Maryland and absorbing all of the culture, drama and entertainment in ways that I can’t here in the Pacific Northwest. Don’t get me wrong, the Pacific Northwest has been very good to me. I love it’s beauty and the opportunities that it does provide to those living here educationally and economically. Even with that, I still feel like I need to travel and experience life beyond the ever-green state.

If I did leave Washington there would be a few things that I know I’d miss for sure. Those things include family, Pike Place Market, the beautiful landscape, and the minimum wage!

11889460_875449419168860_1758863158603822682_n   220px-view_seattle_pike_place_market_sign_summer_2010  20411430-seattle-skyline-sailboats-puget-sound-cascade-mountains-washington-state-pacific-northwest

I’m sure after a couple months, however, I would get used to my new surroundings and culture and begin exploring my new homeland. The biggest question I have for myself is where would I best fit in? I visited NY and absolutely loved it, but it can be kind of pricey. I’ve been to FL and the area is nice, but the humidity may be a deal breaker. I need to take a trip to DC/Maryland to get a feel for that part of the east coast to see how that treats me. I’ve even considered Arizona, though, not east coast, I have put that on my list of possible locations that I would move to.

empire-state-building                    maryland-collageazill-aztrail

I know the best way to relocate is with proper planning and saving, but I find myself just wanting to pack up the little that I have and just leaving, figuring things out along the way. Is this a reckless idea? Possibly, but I can’t help but think that is the only way I will actually take charge of my destiny and do exactly what I want to do. As much as I love my family and my friends, as much as I love the scenery and different dynamics of Washington, I feel that I must take the path that best suits me. I want to go somewhere not just because it is a new place and its an opportunity to move. I want to move someplace I can see myself in; a place that I know I can grow and evolve in, on my own terms.

I feel that now more than ever I need to put my needs and wants before those that I love because at the end of the day, I can’t be who I want to be for them if I never let myself grow into that person. We may love our friends, our family, and our hometown, but there will come a time when you have to set those things aside in order for you to become the person you’d always dreamed you would be. As Iyanla Vanzant would say, it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself first, it’s self-full. She said that the way you treat yourself is the way you treat God. In order to serve God to the best of your abilities you must first be full.

My cup runneth over. What comes out of the cup is for y’all, whats in the cup is mine.

-Iyanla Vanzant

To see the clip of Iyanla click here.

So I think that over the next several months my plan will be to prepare for a big move. I will keep it hush until I’m certain and ready to make my journey. I’d like to be reckless and just go, but who am I kidding, I wanna show up move in ready lol. So I challenge all who reads this to put yourself first, make that risky move, go for what you want because in order to be your best you must treat yourself accordingly.

Until next time!

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, Relationships, self improvement

Let’s Talk – He Ain’t The One Sis

Don’t you hate it when you find yourself wasting your time on someone you thought was “the one”? Yeah I think most of us have been there at least once in our lives. Here comes this handsome, charming, what we think is a man, and he gives us all the feels but he is lacking that extra most important ingredient. He is missing that key piece of maturity called commitment. For some reason committing is a word he is allergic too. He doesn’t want you to know this so instead he will lie, act, and play on your emotions to hide the fact that he simply doesn’t want to commit to you. These guys will either jump into a relationship with you and never really do anything to grow into the relationship, or you’ll have the one who clearly appears to like you and enjoys being around you, but will refuse to lock you down.

The hardest part with dealing with this type of guy is that we, the ones dealing with him, have a hard time letting go. We know deep down that he is stringing us along, but we just have to see if, by some miracle, he will realize that we are the best thing to have ever come into his life. It’s almost like a drug. We get so high off of the idea of our ever after with our dream guy and lose all sense of reality or logical thought. We hold on to that dream until we are completely drained and exhausted from trying to keep it alive. I think that it is important to remember that we are very valuable creatures. We offer more than just comfort and ease, we offer the joys in life like starting a family, supporting our husbands and planning for a bigger future. We simply get caught in the trap of a swindler. Someone who takes advantage of our kind disposition and willingness to support and uplift. No more!

I think that for those dealing with a boyfriend who continues to give empty promises, it’s time to wake up. For those holding on to the dream that he will see you for the woman you are, it’s time to wake up. For those that are waiting for the perfect guy to see the inner beauty within, it’s time to wake up. We can no longer pretend that there is a perfect guy, and we can no longer ignore the signs that the person we want isn’t putting in equal effort to make sure they are who they need to be for us. It is time to set a higher bar, a higher standard, a higher sense of self. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy what it is that we want and expect. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy that he may be an adult but he isn’t a grown man. We don’t have to feel bad for finally standing up for ourselves and our hearts. We are the prize at the end of the day, so if he can’t or won’t step up to the plate of a grown man, he needs to go back to the dugout so another man can step up to bat.

Sometimes being alone is not the end of the world, but rather, the beginning of the journey you were supposed to be on all along. Loneliness can trick us into thinking that we need to be in a romantic relationship, when in reality, it can simply mean that we need to venture out and connect with like minded and spirited people. We can be single and still experience all the joy that life has to offer. Being in a relationship is a blessing, however, forcing one can curse your life.

I used the word “we” a lot because, like a pastor would say, as I preach to you I also preach to myself. It isn’t fair to hold on to something that isn’t helping you grow beyond yourself. Why try forcing something that should just be? Why stress over someone who isn’t stressed about you? Why care if they are on hard times when they turn down opportunities to turn it around? No longer! No longer should we waist our time or our value. I believe that these guys I speak of can still be our friends, but only to an extent. They must know that there are now boundaries to how close they can get to us. They must appreciate that we have chosen to love ourselves more than the idea of love. If that guy truly ever cared for you he will understand and respect your decision and you will know that you had a friend in that person, no more and no less. If the guy tries to turn it around on you, get rid of him and never look back, for that person only cares about themselves and was never a friend.

It can be hard to let go of what you thought was a good thing, but in the end, you will be all the better and stronger for it. Keep in mind that if your soul isn’t being fed you may never truly feel happy, yet you will always be searching for something that may not exist. Continue to love, continue to grow, and continue to evolve. The person that you are meant to be with will likely add to, not take away from those things and you will know the difference. If that person never comes along for you, don’t fret, for you may have the gift of exploration. You will be free to do great things and reach many without losing self and gaining all that you desire. Stay focused on the things that bring joy to your life and be kind to all.

It’s 2018, let’s leave all the grown man babies behind and takeoff into the land of maturity and growth!

 

Coffee & Conversations, Poem, relaxation, self improvement

Let’s Talk – I Am Who I Am

I am more than just a late night tour. I am more than the subtle warmth between the sheets. I am more than the small talk via text message. I am more than the unclear answers I receive to a specific question. I am more than the figure at the door. I am more than the struggling smile fighting back tears. I am more than a face. I am more than a body. I am more than a security blanket. I am more than the time on the clock. 

I am a person with feeling. Vibrant and dynamic I shine through overcast. I am joyful and laughter is my elixir. I am peace within, speaking to the inner power that dwells building its confidence. I am light like India Arie, spreading it as far as it will reach.

I am no longer giving in to pain. I am no longer feeding self doubt. I am no longer allowing my light to be dimmed. I am no longer passively letting my heart be broken. I am no longer tolerant of tyrants. I am no longer allowing my kindness to be mistaken for weakness.

I am who I am, so take it or leave it.