Blog, Coffee & Conversations, comedy, Relationships

Let’s Talk – Is It Worth It? Let Me Work It!

Ok ladies let’s talk about it. You’re with bae or that “special” friend or a new conquest and y’all start getting frisky. Cloths have come off and you’ve done your part to get him aroused and ready to go. You think to yourself, yeah it’s about to go down, he’s been talkin hella shit, I can’t wait. As things progress you notice more and more that you aren’t getting anywhere near your peak and you start to get annoyed. Alright buddy what’s really going on here because you made it seem like you were about to turn my life upside down, yet, here I am wondering what the hell I’m doing here.


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How many of us can relate? How many of us are still dealing with it, only because he captured our heart before our panties? How many of us can say that it is down right disrespectful for the “man” to always get his whilst leaving us hanging and wanting for more? The tragedy in this is a lot of the time the guy doesn’t even realize that he is garbage in bed and we, the females, are too nice or too in love to tell him “you’re trash”second

Look fellas, I get it, sometimes you can’t control that “bust”, but damn think of ya girl in all this. If ya man-man can’t finish the job, another body part can. What that mouth do? Grab her secret soldier out of the drawer and use that as a fill in while you play with her bits. FIGURE IT OUT!

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What that mouth do?

She is trying really, Really, REALLY hard not to step out on you because she cares about your feelings, but let’s face it, not every woman is willing or able to be that strong. If you see her going out of her way to buy new toys, lubes and outfits to spice it up or she is doing everything in her power to resuscitate your clearly dead worm, it’s time to take additional measures.

Don’t be ashamed to look into the well known blue pill. Be ashamed that you can’t please your woman because, believe me, she’s telling her girlfriends all about it. That look of pity or amusement you catch from them from time to time could very well be correlated to her account of her misery.

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So my sistahs, do yourself  a favor and either tell your man pipe up, nigga pipe up, get him a prescription for Viagra, or make him eat out your soul because ummmm yeah. None of us have time to be accepting mediocre D and a lack of arousal. Women in other countries shame their husbands when he can’t hold it down, so he better come with it.

 

That’s all I had for you today. I hope you enjoyed the read.

Until next time!

 

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, Relationships, self improvement

Let’s Talk – He Ain’t The One Sis

Don’t you hate it when you find yourself wasting your time on someone you thought was “the one”? Yeah I think most of us have been there at least once in our lives. Here comes this handsome, charming, what we think is a man, and he gives us all the feels but he is lacking that extra most important ingredient. He is missing that key piece of maturity called commitment. For some reason committing is a word he is allergic too. He doesn’t want you to know this so instead he will lie, act, and play on your emotions to hide the fact that he simply doesn’t want to commit to you. These guys will either jump into a relationship with you and never really do anything to grow into the relationship, or you’ll have the one who clearly appears to like you and enjoys being around you, but will refuse to lock you down.

The hardest part with dealing with this type of guy is that we, the ones dealing with him, have a hard time letting go. We know deep down that he is stringing us along, but we just have to see if, by some miracle, he will realize that we are the best thing to have ever come into his life. It’s almost like a drug. We get so high off of the idea of our ever after with our dream guy and lose all sense of reality or logical thought. We hold on to that dream until we are completely drained and exhausted from trying to keep it alive. I think that it is important to remember that we are very valuable creatures. We offer more than just comfort and ease, we offer the joys in life like starting a family, supporting our husbands and planning for a bigger future. We simply get caught in the trap of a swindler. Someone who takes advantage of our kind disposition and willingness to support and uplift. No more!

I think that for those dealing with a boyfriend who continues to give empty promises, it’s time to wake up. For those holding on to the dream that he will see you for the woman you are, it’s time to wake up. For those that are waiting for the perfect guy to see the inner beauty within, it’s time to wake up. We can no longer pretend that there is a perfect guy, and we can no longer ignore the signs that the person we want isn’t putting in equal effort to make sure they are who they need to be for us. It is time to set a higher bar, a higher standard, a higher sense of self. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy what it is that we want and expect. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy that he may be an adult but he isn’t a grown man. We don’t have to feel bad for finally standing up for ourselves and our hearts. We are the prize at the end of the day, so if he can’t or won’t step up to the plate of a grown man, he needs to go back to the dugout so another man can step up to bat.

Sometimes being alone is not the end of the world, but rather, the beginning of the journey you were supposed to be on all along. Loneliness can trick us into thinking that we need to be in a romantic relationship, when in reality, it can simply mean that we need to venture out and connect with like minded and spirited people. We can be single and still experience all the joy that life has to offer. Being in a relationship is a blessing, however, forcing one can curse your life.

I used the word “we” a lot because, like a pastor would say, as I preach to you I also preach to myself. It isn’t fair to hold on to something that isn’t helping you grow beyond yourself. Why try forcing something that should just be? Why stress over someone who isn’t stressed about you? Why care if they are on hard times when they turn down opportunities to turn it around? No longer! No longer should we waist our time or our value. I believe that these guys I speak of can still be our friends, but only to an extent. They must know that there are now boundaries to how close they can get to us. They must appreciate that we have chosen to love ourselves more than the idea of love. If that guy truly ever cared for you he will understand and respect your decision and you will know that you had a friend in that person, no more and no less. If the guy tries to turn it around on you, get rid of him and never look back, for that person only cares about themselves and was never a friend.

It can be hard to let go of what you thought was a good thing, but in the end, you will be all the better and stronger for it. Keep in mind that if your soul isn’t being fed you may never truly feel happy, yet you will always be searching for something that may not exist. Continue to love, continue to grow, and continue to evolve. The person that you are meant to be with will likely add to, not take away from those things and you will know the difference. If that person never comes along for you, don’t fret, for you may have the gift of exploration. You will be free to do great things and reach many without losing self and gaining all that you desire. Stay focused on the things that bring joy to your life and be kind to all.

It’s 2018, let’s leave all the grown man babies behind and takeoff into the land of maturity and growth!

 

Coffee & Conversations, Poem, relaxation, self improvement

Let’s Talk – I Am Who I Am

I am more than just a late night tour. I am more than the subtle warmth between the sheets. I am more than the small talk via text message. I am more than the unclear answers I receive to a specific question. I am more than the figure at the door. I am more than the struggling smile fighting back tears. I am more than a face. I am more than a body. I am more than a security blanket. I am more than the time on the clock. 

I am a person with feeling. Vibrant and dynamic I shine through overcast. I am joyful and laughter is my elixir. I am peace within, speaking to the inner power that dwells building its confidence. I am light like India Arie, spreading it as far as it will reach.

I am no longer giving in to pain. I am no longer feeding self doubt. I am no longer allowing my light to be dimmed. I am no longer passively letting my heart be broken. I am no longer tolerant of tyrants. I am no longer allowing my kindness to be mistaken for weakness.

I am who I am, so take it or leave it.

Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Noise

There is nothing more important to me than having peace in my life. Sometimes, life shows you that your plans for consistent calmness and serenity is unrealistic. Although the goal is to have complete peace, we still have to go through periods of noise. Noise can disrupt your thought process and distract you from what it is you are doing. Noise can also impact your physical health. This describes the literal factors of noise, but it can also be theoretical.

Sometimes we have noise within our personal lives. Sometimes those around us, that we assumed would bring some peace into our life, turn out to bring a lot of noise into our life. There are going to be times when the noise comes from people you don’t have strong ties with, but then there are times that it will come from those that you considered to be a solid pillar. Those particular ones will surprise you and have you a little shell shocked, but it will all prove to be for the best.

It is baffling how many of us allow noise to clutter our lives. We will put in our theoretical headphones to muffle the noise, but eventually we will have to remove the headphones and the sound will break through our mental once again. Noise cannot be ignored. It can only be addressed. You can work to turn the noise down to a level you are willing to tolerate, ,or you are going to turn the noise off. In order to turn off the noise, you may have to cut somebody off. This can be rough, to say the least. It’s not easy cutting people out of your life. Shoot, it’s not easy being the one getting cut off either. But at the end of the day it may be just what both sides needed.

Noise, in its forms, can completely disrupt our life. The utter loudness of it can debilitate us to the point of breakdown. If you are familiar with hip hop culture you may have heard the phrase “cut the noise”, which I interpret to mean that the energy you are bringing is toxic/a load of crap and we can’t have that. That’s exactly how I think noise should be treated. Hey look you’re toxic, or this is toxic, I’m going to have to get rid of this because it isn’t doing me any favors. 

It is a part of my new years resolution to level-up my life. As much as I want to hold on to certain things or people, I find that they are giving off a lot of noise. I can try to resolve the issue or reduce the amount of noise given off, but when that doesn’t work, you have to cancel the noise, move on and reclaim your peace.

I would love to hear your feedback about noise you’ve had to address and how that impacted your life afterwards. Please comment/like and Let’s Talk.

Thanks for stopping by, until next time….

via Daily Prompt: Noise