Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Life Can Be A Hater

It never fails. You’ve started to take action on some of your interests. Job is going well, you’re feeling confident about progress you’ve made in getting “your shit together” and you feel positive about the route you’re taking then BOOM, disaster strikes. All of your hard work and motivation is slashed by a series of unfortunate events and now you are back to square one.

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What is it about getting ahead in life that triggers those moments of backpeddling? Why can’t life see that you are making an effort to improve your current status in the world and give you a get out of jail free card? What usually ends up happening is we get dealt the “Go straight to jail! Do not pass go do not collect $200.” Card from the “chance” pile. Life must be sitting back waiting for us to get a good momentum started and at the perfect moment throws a branch under our roller skates.

Life can suck a duck if you catch my drift.

Okay, so life can be a major and unapologetic BITCH, but we can still push our way forward. Take it from me, I got dealt some crap here recently but it’s okay. Just because things don’t work out perfectly in your favor doesn’t mean you have to curl up and die. There are plenty of success stories that start out in a sprint and they hit a brick wall. From there tragedies these people may go through a bit of a rut, but eventually come back better than they did before. Think about Will Smith, Keanu Reeves, and Robert Downy Junior. Think of Oprah, Meryl Streep, and Lady Gaga. This is a tiny handful of entertainers who have hit walls and have managed to become some of our favorite idols.

Sometimes when life seems to be shitting on us all at once, it’s just karma making its rounds. Those lucky moments that we may get after a major “f” up is just life saying, “I’m gonna let that slide for now, but I will get mines later”.

Even when that is the case we should keep our heads up! We may go through a period of sadness, but we should always keep our goals in the back of our mind as to not completely give up. Each day will provide an opportunity of encouragement. A friend may remind you that they enjoyed or benefited from the things you were doing. Another person may ask you how things are going with those goals. You, yourself, will recall the joy that you received from following through with your dreams and little by little you will climb out of your “pit of despair” and put yourself back together.

Life can most definitely be a hater, but it also gives opportunities to prove that theory wrong and challenge you to do and be better.

So let’s get out that and stick it to life and show her that even if she tries to roast us, kick us while we’re down and distract us, we will overcome those setbacks and achieve our goals and conquer our dreams!

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motivational

Let’s Talk – Fear: The Silent Killer

The last few days I have been faced with self evaluation. I’ve discovered that I have been holding myself back due to fear. FEAR! This thing is a horrible thing and it can be passed on to others. Fear is contagious so be careful on how you allow it to affect you. Fear, the debilitating reaction we can have. Well this can prevent us from evading danger if there is too much of it and it can also keep us from reaching our potential in life.

I know that I’m not the only one to have kept themselves back. I can think of a couple times that I turned down opportunities due to fear. The fear wasn’t specific to the fear of failure, but rather, it was fear of hurting or disappointing others. This was a major fault for me to realize. It hurts when you have to come to terms with your own bad choices. Aside from the fear to go for it, fear can interfere with relationships.

Relationships can be hard to develop when you are not brave enough to open up completely to your significant other. It is important to express the things that you’re unsure of in order to reduce the chance of letting anxiety push away the ones you love. Fear can also prevent you from making the necessary moves you need to make to level up. You know that for things to go to the next level of your relationship you are going to have to make some changes. Fear can keep you trapped in your comfort zone, killing the momentum you need to prepare for the level up. Fear can also have you running away from what you’ve been praying for. That’s me! It came and I didn’t know what to do with it. I think I was in shock like, naaaaw, this is waaaay to good to be true. Thus, overreacting and potentially ruining your only chance at true love forever. If you are religious, it can also come in between you and your relationship with your almighty.

I recently came to terms with the fact that I allowed fear, in one of its forms, to keep me from continuing my relationship with mine. I allowed myself to be affected by the hypocrisy of those within the church. It made it difficult for me to believe in something that has been shown to be of multiple sources and not a single culmination. I had seen other history related stories that seem to debunk the bible as an original work. However, I also believe that the majority of religions have a common theme. To exude love as you wish to receive it. Peace within that shines throughout tends to resonate among the theologies of faith. As I started to listen to some gospel music, it slapped me in the face. It was then that I realized that I needed to be accountable and make a decision. To believe is a choice. Whomever you choose, you were given the right to choose them. Mine made it clear that it would not be forced upon us. It is us that has to decide if we will believe in that walk or not.

What an amazing discovery. Now I have to decide whether or not I am going to commit to that walk. I know that my answer is yes, but I am concerned that my ability to ignore the opinions of others will be my hindrance. Again, fear poking out its lovely head to remind me that it hasn’t gone anywhere.

**Fear, oh fear how you annoy me so. You take over my bodily functions making me scared froze. I thought that I had conquered you way back when. Yet, here you are giving me grief again. Holding me back from the things I want. Lying to me saying, “you’ll never make it to the top”. It’s okay because my peace within keeps me clear. Even if I become scared I have an almighty friend near. So fear, you can leave me alone. For you make me aware, but you don’t make me strong.**

comedy, Uncategorized

Let’s Talk – Wash Day Dread

For all of my natural sistahs out there, you know what wash day dread is. It’s that onset anxiety we get when we know its about that time to take down the protective style and wash our hair. For my straight and loose curled friends, this will be a good opportunity to see the struggle of that of a kinky haired girl.

Lawd have mercy, I don’t know if I’m ready for this. I literally have to come up with a game plan when it comes to tackling my hair. I’m not saying that I can’t do a quick wash and then leave, but if I want to be able to do my hair completely later I might as well knock it all out at once. Typically for us kinky curly girls, we have to set aside a whole day to commemorate washing. There is prep work, the actual act of washing and de-tangling, making sure to de-tangle as you go, and post work.

Don’t worry silky Susan, the prep work isn’t as complex as inferred. Prep work is simply getting your hair ready for shampooing/conditioning. Some people like to plait they’re hair, or in other words they braid/twist the hair in large sections. This helps to ensure that your hair is already untangled before hitting the water which will make the entire process much easier and keep it from kinking back up. Another method is to apply leave in or an oil based product to first de-tangle then shampoo. Then there’s those that live on the edge and just hop into the shower and make it work. I, my friend, am a fantastic combination of all three. Now for the ultra naturalista, do not panic. I already know that skipping the first two steps leads to breakage and stress on the hair ans wah wah wah. It’s cool I still have growth retention.

Because there are different levels of nappage, there are going to be different ways in which a person washes their hair. I know some can do the pull method. They stand under the faucet and drag the shampoo through the hair and massaging the scalp. I can’t do that, pssshhhh, right. A good portion of us 4C girls use the twist in sections method. This allows us to target the scalp area. Our ENEMY. Since our hair is so thick, dense, and resistant to water intake, we generally focus on getting rid of built up product from our scalp and hair. This doesn’t require heavy scrubbing or large amounts of shampoo. Our hair type loves a good co-wash or hot water rinse. Done both! Having the hair braided or twisted reduces the amount of time taken to re-comb our hair and allows us to clean what’s important.

Once we have the hair washed, conditioned and towel dried/blow dried, we proceed into the post wash. MOISTURIZING. For me the easiest way to do this without being overly tired is through the L.O.C. method. L.O.C. stands for liquid-oil-creme. so while my hair is still wet I get an oil of choice and apply roughly throughout my hair. Those pre-made sections will come in handy here. From there I proceed with the style I have in mind. With each section I apply the necessary amount of leave in conditioner and creme moisturizer. I found that if I do it this way, it seems less of a chore and more like a normal persons routine. I could do all my moisturizing first then style, but my brain automatically thinks “Dis too much”. Depending on how intricate the hairdo is, the longer it will take.

If you have ever wondered why it is taking Karmela so long to change her hairstyle, it is probably because she has “Wash Day Dread”. I should declare this to be a serious condition amongst those of us with the rubber band tight curls. It’s an epidemic! Hahahaha, but no, this is what we go through. Don’t touch our hair because you will speed up the timeline for the next wash day, and we can’t have that!!!!

Until next time! Thanks for dropping in! Like, Comment, Share!

 

 

comedy

Lets Talk – Terrible Tuesdays

Initially I had declared this day to #trendytuesdays, but having the day I’ve had I thought it more fitting to label it #terribletuesdays. I had a segment recorded for #trendytuesday and everything, but as in life, I had to make some quick changes to accommodate for what I have been dealing with.

Why can’t things just go according to plan and work out for the better? Life always likes showing how much bigger her panties are compared to everybody else. Ok, we get it! Please let me coast through life in peace and happiness.

This will be the segment that breaks down the change of the daily title.

Check out this episode!