Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – I See The Light!

I think I’m finally starting to see the light! I’ve been in Florida for 4 months and despite hitting some brick walls, I think things are beginning to change for the better. 

As you may have seen in my last post, Let’s Talk – I Went Big, But Should I Go Home?, I recently moved to Florida, but I was wondering if I had made the right move and if I was going to make it here. Despite some of my doubts it was my goal to thrive in my new city. Finally, after a couple months of living the struggle, I can say that I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still in the tunnel, however, unlike the last month or so, I am now working at 2 jobs and I have a good feeling that both will suit me well.

Don’t force together Pieces that don’t fit –

It’s funny how when you’re working and taking care of your business, nothing seems impossible, but as soon as your job falls through and money isn’t coming in regularly your life starts to crumble right before your eyes. That’s how the last 2 months have been for me. The initial job I had when I first arrived was good for the moment, but seeing as that it was a sales job at 100% commission, I was becoming unsatisfied with my income and the work I was putting in for a lack of results. I ultimately quit the job and decided to look for full time work. This is when things took a turn.

Everyone knows the rule about if you are going to look for new work it is always best to do so while still at your current job. Not only is this good for the employers looking into you, but it also helps to continue bringing in some type of income in the mean time. I know this rule. I’ve lived by this rule, but this time I figured I’m barely making any money as it is and although I like talking to people and making connections, having a job completely commission based was NOT my cup of tea. Instead of working myself to death and having no time to consider other jobs, I decided to quit so that I could put my energy into the job hunt.

Here’s the good and the bad. 

The Good

  1. I was getting calls to come in for interviews or at least question my interest in the job.
  2. I received a couple offers to start relatively soon.
  3. Base pay included

The Bad

  1. The job repeated the same process as the one I had just left. “Ummmm, no thanks”.
  2. The amount of hours vs the pay rate wasn’t worth it. “So I’ll be making less than minimum wage with only 20 hrs/wk? Hahahaha, bye”.
  3. The start date was pushed out pretty far. “Great! I like the job description and the pay rate, now we wait”!

People with ropes around their necks don’t always hang! – Angel Eyes (Movie quote – The Good The Bad and The Ugly)

My first interview was with Florida Home Improvement. For some reason I thought I was going in for a customer service position. I can stay in the office and help people with improving the structure of their homes and get over minimum wage. I was excited to interview. Once seated with the interviewer I realize that it is practically identical to my last job with the exception of receiving some form of base pay. I hated the idea of spending my whole day walking neighborhoods seeking that 1 person to sign up for service. That’s a BIG no for me boss. I was bummed and I had to politely say, “Never mind, thank you for the opportunity”. So close!

Next I had interviews with both Starbucks and Panera Bread. I love coffee so you already know I was all the way down to work at Starbucks even at part time. I ROCKED that interview and was offered a job right then and there. I accepted. The bonus to that was that the base pay was higher than minimum wage. I loved that! My start date was a little ways out, but I had hope that I could snag a secondary job in no time.

I then went in to Panera. Similar to Starbucks, I received an offer not long after my intial and 2nd interview. I went to an orientation to begin as a delivery driver, however, forgetting that I’m riding dirty out here without insurance. Two things with delivery. First thing was that delivery drivers only receive base pay of a little over $5. I was disgusted at this (lol). To make matters worse, the position was going to be 20 hours or less. With that being said I advised the hiring manager that I wouldn’t be able to do delivery seeing as my insurance is expired. I left out that it was because the pay was insulting. I suggested we push my initial app for cashier through. From then they dragged on getting back in touch with me. By this time I had already decided I wouldn’t enjoy my time working for them and turned it down.

Here’s where the golden egg comes in. I got hired to work for ADT security full time with a starting pay that dookeyed all over my previous jobs. THIS IS IT!!!! The catch? I had to wait over a month to begin in November. Really hurtful, truly, but I knew that if I could hold out just a little longer that it would all be worth it. My judgement so far has been accurate because in about a week I will be able to be a contributing member of society once more and I can act like Ayanla and fix my life.

In just 2 months I have had to pray and borrow to cover basic needs, which is the hardest thing for me to do. Ask. Now if you offer something to me I will say yes, but if I have to humble myself and ask for assistance I’ll probably starve first. I’ve had loved ones get on me about this, but it is soooo hard to admit to those you respect that you are struggling and you need them to help you. It’s very important to have people you can call on, I just hate having to call.

Now that I am seeing things slowly pick back up, I can begin to breath a little easier with the light peering over the horizon. I can now plan and make arrangements to correct what has been wronged and rebuild the credit that has thus been destroyed from not having the means to make on-time payments. I’m thankful that I have a place to stay and a support system or I don’t know where I’d be right now. 

If you have people in your corner who will be there for you in times of struggle or complication, honor and appreciate them because some people are out here truly suffering because it is all on them. I can’t express enough how much those people mean to me, even if I don’t actively show it, they are what keeps me together. 

With the sights looking much brighter, I am excited to see how the road will continue and where I will end up. I hope to bring forth more positive news and energy and tell stories on new adventures, new friends, and new goals; new ideas, new content, and new business prospects. So far, everything is looking up and I can’t wait to tell you more about it!

Stay up my friends! The car don’t stop unless you stop driving!

Let’s keep pushing, keep moving, and keep that energy high, for that turning point is closer than you think!


Rise and Shine!
Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – Life Can Be A Hater

It never fails. You’ve started to take action on some of your interests. Job is going well, you’re feeling confident about progress you’ve made in getting “your shit together” and you feel positive about the route you’re taking then BOOM, disaster strikes. All of your hard work and motivation is slashed by a series of unfortunate events and now you are back to square one.


What is it about getting ahead in life that triggers those moments of backpeddling? Why can’t life see that you are making an effort to improve your current status in the world and give you a get out of jail free card? What usually ends up happening is we get dealt the “Go straight to jail! Do not pass go do not collect $200.” Card from the “chance” pile. Life must be sitting back waiting for us to get a good momentum started and at the perfect moment throws a branch under our roller skates.

Life can suck a duck if you catch my drift.

Okay, so life can be a major and unapologetic BITCH, but we can still push our way forward. Take it from me, I got dealt some crap here recently but it’s okay. Just because things don’t work out perfectly in your favor doesn’t mean you have to curl up and die. There are plenty of success stories that start out in a sprint and they hit a brick wall. From there tragedies these people may go through a bit of a rut, but eventually come back better than they did before. Think about Will Smith, Keanu Reeves, and Robert Downy Junior. Think of Oprah, Meryl Streep, and Lady Gaga. This is a tiny handful of entertainers who have hit walls and have managed to become some of our favorite idols.

Sometimes when life seems to be shitting on us all at once, it’s just karma making its rounds. Those lucky moments that we may get after a major “f” up is just life saying, “I’m gonna let that slide for now, but I will get mines later”.

Even when that is the case we should keep our heads up! We may go through a period of sadness, but we should always keep our goals in the back of our mind as to not completely give up. Each day will provide an opportunity of encouragement. A friend may remind you that they enjoyed or benefited from the things you were doing. Another person may ask you how things are going with those goals. You, yourself, will recall the joy that you received from following through with your dreams and little by little you will climb out of your “pit of despair” and put yourself back together.

Life can most definitely be a hater, but it also gives opportunities to prove that theory wrong and challenge you to do and be better.

So let’s get out that and stick it to life and show her that even if she tries to roast us, kick us while we’re down and distract us, we will overcome those setbacks and achieve our goals and conquer our dreams!



Let’s Talk – Fear: The Silent Killer

The last few days I have been faced with self evaluation. I’ve discovered that I have been holding myself back due to fear. FEAR! This thing is a horrible thing and it can be passed on to others. Fear is contagious so be careful on how you allow it to affect you. Fear, the debilitating reaction we can have. Well this can prevent us from evading danger if there is too much of it and it can also keep us from reaching our potential in life.

I know that I’m not the only one to have kept themselves back. I can think of a couple times that I turned down opportunities due to fear. The fear wasn’t specific to the fear of failure, but rather, it was fear of hurting or disappointing others. This was a major fault for me to realize. It hurts when you have to come to terms with your own bad choices. Aside from the fear to go for it, fear can interfere with relationships.

Relationships can be hard to develop when you are not brave enough to open up completely to your significant other. It is important to express the things that you’re unsure of in order to reduce the chance of letting anxiety push away the ones you love. Fear can also prevent you from making the necessary moves you need to make to level up. You know that for things to go to the next level of your relationship you are going to have to make some changes. Fear can keep you trapped in your comfort zone, killing the momentum you need to prepare for the level up. Fear can also have you running away from what you’ve been praying for. That’s me! It came and I didn’t know what to do with it. I think I was in shock like, naaaaw, this is waaaay to good to be true. Thus, overreacting and potentially ruining your only chance at true love forever. If you are religious, it can also come in between you and your relationship with your almighty.

I recently came to terms with the fact that I allowed fear, in one of its forms, to keep me from continuing my relationship with mine. I allowed myself to be affected by the hypocrisy of those within the church. It made it difficult for me to believe in something that has been shown to be of multiple sources and not a single culmination. I had seen other history related stories that seem to debunk the bible as an original work. However, I also believe that the majority of religions have a common theme. To exude love as you wish to receive it. Peace within that shines throughout tends to resonate among the theologies of faith. As I started to listen to some gospel music, it slapped me in the face. It was then that I realized that I needed to be accountable and make a decision. To believe is a choice. Whomever you choose, you were given the right to choose them. Mine made it clear that it would not be forced upon us. It is us that has to decide if we will believe in that walk or not.

What an amazing discovery. Now I have to decide whether or not I am going to commit to that walk. I know that my answer is yes, but I am concerned that my ability to ignore the opinions of others will be my hindrance. Again, fear poking out its lovely head to remind me that it hasn’t gone anywhere.

**Fear, oh fear how you annoy me so. You take over my bodily functions making me scared froze. I thought that I had conquered you way back when. Yet, here you are giving me grief again. Holding me back from the things I want. Lying to me saying, “you’ll never make it to the top”. It’s okay because my peace within keeps me clear. Even if I become scared I have an almighty friend near. So fear, you can leave me alone. For you make me aware, but you don’t make me strong.**

comedy, Uncategorized

Let’s Talk – Wash Day Dread

For all of my natural sistahs out there, you know what wash day dread is. It’s that onset anxiety we get when we know its about that time to take down the protective style and wash our hair. For my straight and loose curled friends, this will be a good opportunity to see the struggle of that of a kinky haired girl.

Lawd have mercy, I don’t know if I’m ready for this. I literally have to come up with a game plan when it comes to tackling my hair. I’m not saying that I can’t do a quick wash and then leave, but if I want to be able to do my hair completely later I might as well knock it all out at once. Typically for us kinky curly girls, we have to set aside a whole day to commemorate washing. There is prep work, the actual act of washing and de-tangling, making sure to de-tangle as you go, and post work.

Don’t worry silky Susan, the prep work isn’t as complex as inferred. Prep work is simply getting your hair ready for shampooing/conditioning. Some people like to plait they’re hair, or in other words they braid/twist the hair in large sections. This helps to ensure that your hair is already untangled before hitting the water which will make the entire process much easier and keep it from kinking back up. Another method is to apply leave in or an oil based product to first de-tangle then shampoo. Then there’s those that live on the edge and just hop into the shower and make it work. I, my friend, am a fantastic combination of all three. Now for the ultra naturalista, do not panic. I already know that skipping the first two steps leads to breakage and stress on the hair ans wah wah wah. It’s cool I still have growth retention.

Because there are different levels of nappage, there are going to be different ways in which a person washes their hair. I know some can do the pull method. They stand under the faucet and drag the shampoo through the hair and massaging the scalp. I can’t do that, pssshhhh, right. A good portion of us 4C girls use the twist in sections method. This allows us to target the scalp area. Our ENEMY. Since our hair is so thick, dense, and resistant to water intake, we generally focus on getting rid of built up product from our scalp and hair. This doesn’t require heavy scrubbing or large amounts of shampoo. Our hair type loves a good co-wash or hot water rinse. Done both! Having the hair braided or twisted reduces the amount of time taken to re-comb our hair and allows us to clean what’s important.

Once we have the hair washed, conditioned and towel dried/blow dried, we proceed into the post wash. MOISTURIZING. For me the easiest way to do this without being overly tired is through the L.O.C. method. L.O.C. stands for liquid-oil-creme. so while my hair is still wet I get an oil of choice and apply roughly throughout my hair. Those pre-made sections will come in handy here. From there I proceed with the style I have in mind. With each section I apply the necessary amount of leave in conditioner and creme moisturizer. I found that if I do it this way, it seems less of a chore and more like a normal persons routine. I could do all my moisturizing first then style, but my brain automatically thinks “Dis too much”. Depending on how intricate the hairdo is, the longer it will take.

If you have ever wondered why it is taking Karmela so long to change her hairstyle, it is probably because she has “Wash Day Dread”. I should declare this to be a serious condition amongst those of us with the rubber band tight curls. It’s an epidemic! Hahahaha, but no, this is what we go through. Don’t touch our hair because you will speed up the timeline for the next wash day, and we can’t have that!!!!

Until next time! Thanks for dropping in! Like, Comment, Share!




Lets Talk – Terrible Tuesdays

Initially I had declared this day to #trendytuesdays, but having the day I’ve had I thought it more fitting to label it #terribletuesdays. I had a segment recorded for #trendytuesday and everything, but as in life, I had to make some quick changes to accommodate for what I have been dealing with.

Why can’t things just go according to plan and work out for the better? Life always likes showing how much bigger her panties are compared to everybody else. Ok, we get it! Please let me coast through life in peace and happiness.

This will be the segment that breaks down the change of the daily title.

Check out this episode!