Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, self improvement

Let’s Talk – I Went Big, But Should I Go Home?

Remember when I made the post about traveling/relocating in Let’s Talk – Go Big or Go Home? Do you also remember when I said I wish I could just get up and go? Well guess what? Yup, you guessed it. I made the blind leap to up and leave. I’m currently in the big, I mean BIG, city of Jacksonville, FL and I must admit, I love it, however, I wish I would have committed sooner to the move and had money saved.

I was first given the chance to move down here several months ago from my cousin who’s husband was being stationed here in Jacksonville, but I allowed myself to doubt the transition and I backed out of it. Once again, fear made its mark and influenced my thoughts and decisions. As time grew nearer to the move and my gut kept telling me I was about to miss what looked like my best chance to leave, I panicked and made a last minute decision to go. This indeed was a huge gamble on my part. I had no place to go once arrived, no job, and only my car. I figured, hey people have done it before me, why can’t I? Pause for nervous laughter.

I had just enough money to make the road trip down with no real concept of what I would do after the fact. The lord must have truly been shining on me because my cousin, who also decided to come down, landed a house sit for 3 weeks upon arrival and extended the offer to me. I was so relieved that the home owners were so laid back and willing to allow me to stay and assist in the house sitting. Still, there is enough stress to kill a small horse. So far I’ve been blessed to have landed a job within the first 5 days of arrival and visited a couple prospective apartments within a realistic budget. Although things are looking up my anxiety couldn’t be higher. There are still some unresolved issues back home, I don’t yet have any income to put towards housing, the cousin who has helped me tremendously may now be depending on me to help in establishing residence within the next couple of weeks and again I’M BROKE. Jesus take the wheel!!!!

inspirational-quotes-let-your-faith-be-bigger-than-your-fears

With all that being said, I do rely on Jesus to get me over the hump of my doubts, fears,  and anxieties for the ensuing weeks. I know that even though times look dark the God above can create a way out of absolutely no way. Right now that is what I have to hold on to. My faith in that must be stronger than my anxieties and fears. IT HAS TO BE if I want to see this thing through. I wish I could have stuck to my earlier decision and not have wavered from it. Looking back I think that I was asked too many times if I was sure. The more someone asks me this question the more I begin to doubt if I should follow through or just make due with my current course, or that maybe they’re no longer sure of me going and now I’m no longer sure. Either way it goes I’m here now and I have to dig deep to make things run smoothly.

WHATEVER THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE

-NAPOLEON HILL

Motivationping.com

I just started reading a book entitled “What Should I Do With My Life?” and it states in the introduction that most of the time people are forced to tap into their true potential out of struggle vs. desire. While we are in a good situation we only state what it is that we want to do, but when we are in a position of hard times we tend to act on it. Now more than ever I can see that I HAVE to go big because the only other option would be to go home. Before coming down here it was definitely just a statement, but now it is my reality and my reality is that I do not want to go home. I would love to call Florida my new home, so that only leaves me with one option; GRIND GRIND GRIND WITHOUT CEASING!!!

This may be by far the scariest yet most fulfilling time of my life, so while I’m here I am going to make the most out of it and do what I have to do in order to see my goals come into fruition. There is no giving up! I have to go big or I have to go home and going home is not a part of my list of goals!!!

helenkeller1-2x

Blog, Coffee & Conversations, motivational, Relationships, self improvement

Let’s Talk – He Ain’t The One Sis

Don’t you hate it when you find yourself wasting your time on someone you thought was “the one”? Yeah I think most of us have been there at least once in our lives. Here comes this handsome, charming, what we think is a man, and he gives us all the feels but he is lacking that extra most important ingredient. He is missing that key piece of maturity called commitment. For some reason committing is a word he is allergic too. He doesn’t want you to know this so instead he will lie, act, and play on your emotions to hide the fact that he simply doesn’t want to commit to you. These guys will either jump into a relationship with you and never really do anything to grow into the relationship, or you’ll have the one who clearly appears to like you and enjoys being around you, but will refuse to lock you down.

The hardest part with dealing with this type of guy is that we, the ones dealing with him, have a hard time letting go. We know deep down that he is stringing us along, but we just have to see if, by some miracle, he will realize that we are the best thing to have ever come into his life. It’s almost like a drug. We get so high off of the idea of our ever after with our dream guy and lose all sense of reality or logical thought. We hold on to that dream until we are completely drained and exhausted from trying to keep it alive. I think that it is important to remember that we are very valuable creatures. We offer more than just comfort and ease, we offer the joys in life like starting a family, supporting our husbands and planning for a bigger future. We simply get caught in the trap of a swindler. Someone who takes advantage of our kind disposition and willingness to support and uplift. No more!

I think that for those dealing with a boyfriend who continues to give empty promises, it’s time to wake up. For those holding on to the dream that he will see you for the woman you are, it’s time to wake up. For those that are waiting for the perfect guy to see the inner beauty within, it’s time to wake up. We can no longer pretend that there is a perfect guy, and we can no longer ignore the signs that the person we want isn’t putting in equal effort to make sure they are who they need to be for us. It is time to set a higher bar, a higher standard, a higher sense of self. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy what it is that we want and expect. We don’t have to feel bad for telling a guy that he may be an adult but he isn’t a grown man. We don’t have to feel bad for finally standing up for ourselves and our hearts. We are the prize at the end of the day, so if he can’t or won’t step up to the plate of a grown man, he needs to go back to the dugout so another man can step up to bat.

Sometimes being alone is not the end of the world, but rather, the beginning of the journey you were supposed to be on all along. Loneliness can trick us into thinking that we need to be in a romantic relationship, when in reality, it can simply mean that we need to venture out and connect with like minded and spirited people. We can be single and still experience all the joy that life has to offer. Being in a relationship is a blessing, however, forcing one can curse your life.

I used the word “we” a lot because, like a pastor would say, as I preach to you I also preach to myself. It isn’t fair to hold on to something that isn’t helping you grow beyond yourself. Why try forcing something that should just be? Why stress over someone who isn’t stressed about you? Why care if they are on hard times when they turn down opportunities to turn it around? No longer! No longer should we waist our time or our value. I believe that these guys I speak of can still be our friends, but only to an extent. They must know that there are now boundaries to how close they can get to us. They must appreciate that we have chosen to love ourselves more than the idea of love. If that guy truly ever cared for you he will understand and respect your decision and you will know that you had a friend in that person, no more and no less. If the guy tries to turn it around on you, get rid of him and never look back, for that person only cares about themselves and was never a friend.

It can be hard to let go of what you thought was a good thing, but in the end, you will be all the better and stronger for it. Keep in mind that if your soul isn’t being fed you may never truly feel happy, yet you will always be searching for something that may not exist. Continue to love, continue to grow, and continue to evolve. The person that you are meant to be with will likely add to, not take away from those things and you will know the difference. If that person never comes along for you, don’t fret, for you may have the gift of exploration. You will be free to do great things and reach many without losing self and gaining all that you desire. Stay focused on the things that bring joy to your life and be kind to all.

It’s 2018, let’s leave all the grown man babies behind and takeoff into the land of maturity and growth!

 

Coffee & Conversations, self improvement

Let’s Talk – New Blog Name and Look

Since the start of the year I have mentioned that 2018 was the year for leveling up, and I truly believe that change is in motion. It has been a month since I started walking in the path I’m currently on, and I feel more and more motivated each day. I want to get to a point where I can focus on blogging/podcasting/vlogging full-time. The goal that I set for myself is to start making salary earnings within 2 years. I believe that with a positive attitude and an equally stable work ethic I will achieve that goal.

One of the best tools that we can use for our self growth, is networking. Networking can get you in line to take advantage of opportunities you need in order to take ahead in your career. The magic behind the life of an entrepreneur is that they wake up early everyday and work hard because they are passionate about what it is they do. There has never been a time in my working career that I have felt passionate about the job I was doing. With blogging, however, I am seeing that I don’t receive pay from doing this yet I enjoy every minute I put into building my brand.

Recently I had reached out to a fellow podcaster/blogger, @daynger (anchor, vlaudle, twitter), and asked if she was monetizing her blogs, and if so, could she provide some tips. She replied with a link to a checklist. The checklist definitely centered around sites that have a specific niche which they can use to promote and gain sponsors. What I realized after viewing the checklist was that I didn’t fit into a “niche”. A niche is something that helps categorize your content and build a core audience. How could I take advantage of the checklist if I don’t have a core audience?

With help from my cousin, I decided to entitle my blog and podcast station, “Pillow Talk with Coffee”. This idea came from my cousin. She said that based on my post content, and my love for coffee, we could call it Pillow Talk and Coffee. I liked the sound of it, but it quite roll as smooth as I liked. Swapping out the “and” with “with” did the trick. “Pillow Talk” represents the intimate/private conversations we have with our inner circle, i.e., spouse, bf/gf, friends, and family. “With Coffee” simply represents all things coffee, from the ambiance of a cafe lounge, to the fresh, yet strong, aroma of a fresh brew. “Pillow Talk with Coffee” mimics the things that are often brought up in coffee shops. Politics, relationships, and the hottest sales at local stores. Don’t forget fashion trends, new music, and the winners at big awards.

I hope you enjoy the new look of my site and continue to follow my blog!

Tune in and catch up on the cossip (coffee/gossip)!